Ancient Rome Quickie

Scene: The inside of a Roman building, possibly the Senate. Caesar is walking down a corridor with an escort of two guards. A man comes running up to him.

Man: (Panicky): CAESAR, CAESAR, BEWARE THE TIDES OF MARCH.

Caesar: (Stopping in his tracks). BY JOVE (To himself) WHAT IS THAT OLD FOOL TITUS HARPING ON ABOUT NOW?

Man: (Reaching Caesar): THE TIDES OF MARCH! THEY WILL BRING ABOUT YOUR DOOM.

Caesar: (Contemptuously) REALLY, THE TIDES OF MARCH NOW, IS IT? LAST WEEK IT WAS AN ATTEMPT TO POISON ME. BEFORE THAT IT WAS A CONSPIRACY IN THE SENATE. WHAT NEXT?

Man: (Getting down on his knees): CAESAR, I BEG YOU, AS YOUR PERSONAL ASTROLOGER I UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS. BE WARNED: THE TIDES OF MARCH WILL SPELL YOUR DOOM.

Caesar: (Taking a coin from his belt) VERY WELL FOOL, YOU HAVE EARNED YOUR GOLD.

Man: THANK YOU, CAESAR. (He takes the coin and leaves).

CAEASAR: (To one of his escorts) WAIT HERE, CAEUS; IíM JUST GOING TO SPLASH THE MARBLE. (To himself) TIDES OF MARCH, THE FOOL MEANS IDES OF MARCH.

(He reaches out for a door marked PISOLEUM. The door opens outwards, and as it does so a giant wave of water gushes forth, and he is swept away).

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