Gags, Jokes, Etc By Alexander Baron
Preamble

For the full background to this section, the reader is referred to the Introduction to my Comedy Sketches (such as they are).

Having recently dug out several hundred of the jokes I wrote since I began my correspondence with Dermot Crossley, I decided to key in a few on an ad hoc basis, though I canít claim they will make anybody laugh, except perhaps out of pity. To begin with, many of them are severely dated. Nor can I claim that any are startlingly original. People invent, devise, come up with...the same or essentially the same jokes all the time. A few years ago when a certain Osama Bin Laden was being hunted high and low, I made a very weak quip about Osama Bin Liner. A couple of days later I heard a comedienne use the same pun on TV, and Iím sure she didnít get it from me.

Therefore I make no apologies for any jokes that appear to have been borrowed, plagiarised or stolen from anyone else, and by the same token I forgive anyone and everyone who has ripped me off or had the same idea. Especially if their version came first. To take just one example, I heard a version of (24) before I was out of my teens.

As far as I can ascertain, all the contributions to this section - which appear in no particular order - were written prior to my first computer purchase - November 1990. It is possible that I have already published some of them before in one form or another, in either a previous collection or on the Internet, in particular on Usenet. Again, I offer no apologies, and although nowadays I have plenty of time on my hands, I donít have so much that I can troll through everything I have ever written in order to flag the offending remark(s).

Heckler Stoppers can be found at the end of the main section.

Sydenham,
London.

October 1, 2010


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