Scene: A corridor in a very old building without proper lighting. There are fire doors at both ends, each is marked AUSGANG.
A young, scruffily dressed mand with a moustache and glasses walks down the corridor, pushes one of the doors and absent-mindedly walks into it when it fails to open. He pushes it again, but still nothing happens. He takes a step back and rams it. He makes more and more frantic efforts to force it open. Finally, he strarts kicking it, throwing himself against it like a madman, and snarling in rage.
The camera moves back, the doors at the other end of the corridor swing open, and a tall, schoolmasterly looking man walks through. He is carrying a bundle of files. He sees the man abusing the door and shouts.
Old Man: STOP! (Walking towards him). YOU! VAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?
Young Man: (Turning) IT IS ZIS DOOR. ZER WRETCHED ZING IS STUCK.
(Both men have heavy German accents).
Old Man: (Reaching him and coming face to face). YOU STUPID NINCOMPOOP! HAVE YOU NO BRAINS AT ALL? LOOK! (He reaches out and, taking the door handle, gently pulls it open). SEE? LOOK VAT YOU HAFF DONE TO ZIS DOOR? DO YOU REALISE YOU COULD BE SACKED FOR ZIS? I AM DR KRAMER, ZE HEAD OF ADMINISTRATION. I DO NOT SUFFER FOOLS GLADLY, AND I DO NOT EMPLOY IDIOTS.
Young Man: (Very subserviently). DR KRAMER, I BEG YOUR PARDON, PLEASE. I VILL PAY FOR ANY DAMAGE CAUSED.
Old Man: IDIOT, VERE DO YOU VORK?
Young Man: IN ZE PATENT OFFICE; I AM ZE NEW CLERK.
Old Man: YOU HAFF NOT ZE BRAINS TO BE A CLERK, OR IF YOU HAFF, ZAT IS ALL YOU VILL EVER BE.
Young Man: YES, DR KRAMER. I AM SORRY ONCE AGAIN.
Old Man: (Starting to walk through the door). VAT IS YOUR NAME, ANYWAY?
Young Man: ALBERT EINSTEIN, DR KRAMER.
Old Man: (Walking off ahead of him, clutching his files. He gets to the end of the corridor, stops and shrugs his shoulders to the camera). ALBERT EINSTEIN, I MUST REMEMBER NEVER TO PROMOTE ZAT ONE. HE IS OBVIOUSLY A TOTAL DIMVIT.
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