The Moron Who Can Never Fold An Ace (Or Anything Else)

No limit hold íem is a game for morons and broken hearts, but most other forms of poker are little better. Limit hold íem can be just as bad; at no limit, you might just force a draw out of a pot, but at limit, an all too familiar scenario is you raise or perhaps re-raise with pocket aces, some moron calls with 9-4 suited, flops nothing, but plays on, and sucks out.

Below, in chronological order, are a few such on-line examples. Happily, not all of them result in the garbage hand cleaning up.


May 8, 2012: A small pot limit hold íem tournament and garbage wins yet again. My apologies for the imperfect screengrab.


May 13, 2012: This time the moron who couldnít fold an ace was close to home. to put it mildly.


May 21, 2012: Slow playing aces is always a risky business at no limit hold íem, but here they hold up in a multi-way pot.


July 7, 2012: This was from a freeroll; the guy with J-10 raised then called an all-in on the flop. He flops two pair, but a magic river card puts him in his place.


August 11, 2012: Spot the deliberate mistake. This isnít a bad beat at all!

August 12, 2012: The Bankroll Builder on Party Poker. I think the reason I played so loosely here was because this guy kept raise, raise, raise, hand after hand. Whatever, the moron with the ace won this hand, even though he knows better!


September 8, 2012: The moron raises with garbage in a freeroll, and cracks aces. In spite of that crummy luck, I cashed.


September 9, 2012: Three all-in pre-flop, and the moron with the ace wins. The right moron for once!

September 11, 2012: A PokerStars Depositor Freeroll. Five players are all-in pre-flop, three or at a push four of us, have a right to be in the hand. Naturally the worst hand wins, though surprisingly with these cards out, the 10s are 30.34% while the winning hand is second favourite at 22.64%.


September 16, 2012: All-in pre-flop with garbage, and once again stupidity is rewarded.


September 24, 2012: Aces hold up.


September 26, 2012: Aces lose to a player who canít fold KQ pre-flop.


September 29, 2012: Utterly moronic play nearly pays off, but justice prevails on the river.


October 1, 2012: Three of us all-in pre-flop the first hand of a PokerStars Depositor Freeroll. The best hand wins by virtue of a suck out.


October 1, 2012: The same tournament as above. Big slick flops a house heads up against a player who thinks ace rag is worth staking it all on.

October 1, 2012: A screengrab from the same tournament as above; garbage wins again. Okay, itís a freeroll, but we are deep in the tournament, and many players play like this whatever the buy-in.

Another hand played October 1, 2012, this time from a stud hi lo tournament. This hand may or may not have been played slightly before the one above. I was heads up here; it beggars belief anyone can scoop at this game with no pair, which begs the question, what total rubbish was the other guy playing?


October 5, 2012: KJ beats pocket jacks.


October 7, 2012: A cruel suck out in the William Hill Sunday Facebook Freeroll, but Auntie didnít complain.

This is a hand from the $5 + 50c limit Omaha hi lo played on William Hill, October 9, 2012. I am informed by Auntie that he (yes, he) had aces in the small blind, raised, and the big blind called with this garbage. Auntie bet out the hand hoping after the turn the guy had nothing, and indeed he had - to begin with. This begs the question, how do players who play so badly, consistently accumulate such big stacks?

After being busted out of the limit Omaha hi lo by a total moron (see above), Auntie decided to play another small tournament on the same site later that night, the 23.20: $2 + 20c stud. He finished 5th of the 63 runners, well after 1am apparently. This is a hand from the $5 + 50c limit Omaha hi lo played on William Hill, October 9, 2012. I am informed by Auntie that he had aces in the small blind, raised, and the big blind called with this garbage. Auntie bet out the hand hoping after the turn the guy had nothing, and indeed he had - to begin with. This begs the question, how do players who play so badly, consistently accumulate such big stacks?

[The above article was published originally as a blog on October 10, 2012 with 11 screengrabs. The others were added shortly; there are 21 here, but one is linked from Any Two Cards, which was published 4 days later].


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