Fruit Show Quickie

Scene: A fruit and vegetable show prize giving. Several prize winners are standing around; their faces are beaming. One is holding a four foot long banana, another a pear the size of a beach ball, and a third a bunch of grapes the size of billiard balls. The compère is holding a microphone in one hand and is about to present a prize.

In his left hand he is holding a flag marked 1st Prize. Next to him stands a man holding a giant raspberry: it is about two feet square.

Compère: AND NOW, I AM PLEASED TO PRESENT THE FIRST PRIZE IN THE BERRY SECTION TO JIM COOPER FOR HIS WHOPPER RASPBERRY.

(The audience applauds; the prize winner moves forward, and the compère sticks the flagpin into the raspberry. It starts making a slow raspberry noise a là Harry Secombe, and shrinks to the size of an egg. The compère looks embarrassed; the owner, horrified).

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