Hard Bargain Quickie

Scene: A room. It is brightly lit and bare. No details can be seen. Sitting hunched over a table is a police sergeant; on the other side sits a shifty-looking, unshaven character wearing a striped jersey.

Man: OW MUCH, COPPER?

Sergeant: SIX HUNDRED.

Man: WHAT? THATíS A BIT STIFF.

Sergeant: THATíS HOW MUCH ITíLL COST YER.

Man: WHATíS THE DEAL?

Sergeant: CASH UP FRONT. A STRAIGHT SWAP.

Man: THATíS TOO MUCH: THREE HUNDRED.

Sergeant: (Shaking his head) THREE? NAH, THEREíS TOO MUCH AT STAKE.

Man: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? THEREíS NO ONE ELSE INVOLVED.

Sergeant: THINK OF WHAT YOUíLL BE GETTING. TOTAL CONTROL. CARTE BLANCHE. YOUíLL HAVE FOUR OF THEM.

Man: YEAH, BUT SIX HUNDRED IS TOO MUCH. FOUR.

Sergeant: (Shaking his head) TSK, TSK, TSK. YOU CANíT WANT IT THAT BADLY.

Man: ALL RIGHT, FOUR FIFTY, BUT I CANíT GO ANY HIGHER.

Sergeant: (Thinking) TELL YOU WHAT: FOUR SEVEN FIVE AND IíLL THROW IN THIS AS WELL. (He holds up something. The camera doesnít show what).

Man: HMMM.

Sergeant: YOUíRE GONNA NEED ONE OF THESE WHERE YOUíRE GOING.

Man: (Sighs) YOU DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN, COPPER. ALL RIGHT, ITíS A DEAL.

(The camera draws back to show they are sitting in a police cell playing Monopoly).

Sergent: RIGHT, LIVERPOOL STREET STATION AND ONE SEVENTY-FIVE QUID IN CASH.

(The man pays the officer in Monopoly money, and the get-out-of-jail free card the policeman is holding is clearly visible).

Fade.

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