Police Chief Quickie

Scene: An office. An unseen man is sitting behind a desk. There is a sign on the desk: CHIEF BAKER - HEAD OF NARCOTICS.

In front of the desk stand two tall, smartly dressed men. One of them has his jacket unbuttoned, and a shoulder holster can be seen underneath. Both men are grim-faced and standing to attention.

Voice: (from behind the desk): WHAT IS IT WITH YOU TWO? I MEAN, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, STARSKY AND HUTCH? (silence)

(The camera shifts to the two men).

Voice: (raised): IíM TALKING TO YOU, WILSON!

First Man (Wilson): SIR?

Voice: (angry) DONíT CALL ME SIR!

Wilson: YES CHIEF.

Voice: CASHMAN, DO YOU REALISE YOU AND YOUR PARTNER HAVE SCREWED UP THREE MONTHS UNDERCOVER WORK BY THE FBI?

Second Man (Cashman): IíM SORRY, CHIEF.

Voice: YOUíRE SORRY? WELL, YOU WILL BE BECAUSE I CANíT COVER UP FOR YOU ANYMORE, NOT THIS TIME. YOU WERE WARNED, BUT YOU WANTED TO BE HEROES SO, AS USUAL YOU DIVED IN HEAD FIRST, ROUNDED UP HALF A DOZEN MINNOWS AND LET THE BIG FISH GET CLEAN AWAY. I CANíT CARRY THE CAN FOR YOU THIS TIME; IíM RETIRING NEXT YEAR AND IíVE GOT MY PENSION TO THINK ABOUT.

Cashman: YES CHIEF, WE APPRECIATE THAT CHIEF.

Wilson: WE APPRECIATE EVERYTHING YOUíVE EVER DONE FOR US, CHIEF.

(thoughtful silence)

Voice: (remorseful) OH ALL RIGHT, IíLL SPEAK TO THE CAPTAIN FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, BUT IF THE FEDS WANT SOMEBODYíS HEAD TO ROLL ITíS NOT GONNA BE MINE. NOW GET OUT OF HERE.

Cashman: YES CHIEF.

Wilson: THANK YOU, CHIEF.

(They turn and leave the office).

(The camera switches to the man behind the desk. He is shaking his head slowly. He is dressed as an Indian chief in full feathered head dress).

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