1. micturate hourly
2. masticate three hourly
3. defecate daily
4. masturbate weekly
5. menustruate monthly
6. parturate annually
7. copulate whenever possible
* If you think the above sounds gross, you are not the only one. Goodman was active in the anti-censorship movement for decades; I assume he was given this list by someone who had less noble motives than himself.
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