You’re the ugliest creature that ever has been,
Your face is horrific, your body obscene,
You’re bug-eyed and cross-eyed, your teeth are all green,
No wonder they call you the Cyclops.
Your poor mother, whatever must she have thought?
I bet she took one look and fainted distraught,
That into this world such a monster she’d brought,
This hideous thing called the Cyclops.
You’ve got dandruff and fleas and nits in your hair,
You’ve no shame, no hygiene, you haven’t a care,
Of shampoo and toothpaste you’re quite unaware,
You stink like some old dosser’s organ.
Don’t look in the mirror, the damn thing will break,
You can’t part your hair with a comb or a rake,
Do mankind a favour, go jump in the lake,
You’re worse than Medusa the Gorgon.
You’re too ugly for words but this thing I must say,
A creature like you should stay home in the day,
I can’t fathom why they’ve not put you away
In one of those new quarantine blocks.
I can’t think of anything nice about you,
I look in your face and I’m wanting to spew,
Why don’t you go live somewhere like Timbucktu
And spare us your ugliness, Cyclops?
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