Would you Adam and Eve it?
The man whose name is associated
With that unspeakable bodily function
Lived at number 12 Thornsett Road;
Thomas Crapper (1836-1910) - ablutions to the world,
Was an adopted son of Anerley.
Stratford-upon-Avon had Shakespeare;
Teddington had NoŽl Coward;
Kidderminster had Sir Roland Hill with his famous postage stamp;
Even Hyde, Manchester had its notorious serial killer Harold Shipman;
While Anerley had not the poetry in motion of William Shakespeare,
But the unmentionable motion of...Thomas Crapper.
True, he did bring bathrooms to the world like never before,
And his extant company has moved with the times,
Even if he hasnít moved from Elmers End Cemetery these past hundred and four years,
And even if moves of an unspeakable nature take place over his porcelain designs every day,
But every time I hear his name,
I thank God I live in Sydenham.
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