Ten Rape Prevention Tips For Rad-Fems

 

1. Cut all ties with your feminist friends and especially feminist “literature” and videos, that way you will have less chance of being brainwashed into believing you have been raped when he doesn’t call you the following week.

2. If you own a copy of The Courage To Heal, throw it in the trash, or better still burn it. Reading that and then accusing your own father of rape will either tear your family apart or see you sent to a booby hatch.

3. By all means learn martial arts or train with weights, then you won’t be tempted to claim you were too afraid to say no.

4. Date only men who are physically weaker than you, especially those who suffer from chronic fatigue syndrome or cystic fibrosis. That means you will miss out on the alpha males, but any alpha male who would consider bedding a head case like you is only after the one thing anyway.

5. Don’t get drunk in public then get into a car with a man you don’t know or trust.

6. Don’t take mind-altering drugs like cocaine and especially don’t mix them with alcohol, or you might end up like airhead Kamilah Willingham accusing a friend of rape after a night out and actually believing it.

7. Remember that consent may not be withdrawn retroactively.

8. To avoid being raped by your husband, don’t get married, even if you could find a man desperate enough to marry a demented hag like you.

9. Try to live within your safe space; rent or if you can, buy an apartment in a block protected by an entryphone, work from home, have all your groceries delivered, and if you do venture out in public, always do so in daylight hours, preferably early morning.

10. If all else fails, consider moving to Saudi Arabia or Iran where rape is capital, but bear in mind that if you falsely accuse a man there, you will be subject to Draconian punishment rather than granted a free pass with permanent anonymity.


Back To Joke Section Index