Dear Mr Icke, you’re very charismatic,
Your image is both plausible and clean,
But while you’re seen to drive an automatic
You cannot truly class yourself as green.
Yes, yes, we know you live across the water
And always catch the train up to The Smoke,
But while you’re doing what you didn’t oughta,
Auto Express will treat you like a joke.
It’s all right telling us to dump our motors,
And ecologically find ways to teach,
But how d’you expect to convince the voters
Unless you’re seen to practise what you preach?
We’ve seen your sort before, so Mr Icke,
Our message to you’s simple: on yer bike!