“Hey, John.”
“What?”
“Come and look at this one.”
“What?”
“This one in Room 7.”
“What about him?”
“He’s right out of it.”
“What is he, another religious nut?”
“Not half. Thinks he’s God.”
“So does Dr Simon, and if he catches you messing around again you’ll be out on your ear. Remember what he said last week about that nymphomaniac?”
“Don’t be churlish, this is a bloke.”
“So what? You’ve seen one loony, you’ve seen them all.”
“Not like this one – hey, look at this – my name is Jesus, and I have a message for all Mankind. You must love one another, not fight. When a man smiteth thee, you must turn the other cheek.”
“Leave off, he doesn’t go on like that!”
“He bloody well does, come and see.”
“All right, but it better be good.”
“Hello Jesus, it’s me again, David, you know, the charge nurse.”
“Peace be upon you, my son.”
“Yes, peace to you too, Jesus.”
“Greetings, my son, and what is your name?”
“John. I work on Cameo Ward, where they keep the rubber ’eads.”
“Ssshh! Don’t take the piss.”
“It’s all right, David. You are skeptical, John? Haven’t you read in the Scripture that one day the Messiah will come?”
“Of course I have.”
“I am He.”
“I thought you were supposed to be God, Jesus.”
“I am God. And Jesus.”
“Of course you are, Jesus. What’s his real name, Dave?”
“I told you, it’s Jesus.”
“Yeah, and mine’s Pontius Pilate.”
“John, don’t! Jesus, tell him what you’ve come here for.”
“To die for your sins, David. I have come to die for all Mankind’s sins, John.”
“Yes, of course you have. Where did they pick you up, and what funny farm were you in before?”
“Stop it, John.”
“You’re gonna tell me next he performs miracles, too.”
“He does. Listen. Jesus, tell him about how you walk on water, and how you can raise people from the dead.”
“Can you do that, Jesus?”
“Yes, I can, John.”
“Well, looks like you’ll be here a long time then, so you can tell me all about it next week when you come over to Cameo. You’ll like it there, especially the shock treatment.”
“I have come down to Earth to suffer, John.”
“Yes, of course you have. You can tell Dr Simon all about that too.”
“Jesus, show him how you bless people.”
“Dave, I have to get back.”
“Go on, Jesus.”
“Dave!”
“All right. I have to go now, Jesus. I’ll bring the lady nurse to see you tomorrow. You’ll like Rachel. She’ll love you.”
“Goodbye David. Goodbye John. We will meet at the end of the world.”
“Yeah, sure. Listen, make sure you lock that door mate.”
“Relax.”
“I’ve seen these Sons of God types before, and they can turn nasty just like that.”
“He’s harmless enough.”
“Just make sure you keep him under lock and key, and don’t let Rachel see him on her own. I’ve gotta get back now. Where was he transferred from?”
“He’s not a transfer, he’s a new arrival.”
“I wouldn’t have thought that. He’s well gone, they don’t go like that overnight.”
“No, they don’t. He’s a schizophrenic actually.”
“I’d never have guessed.”
“He’s never been in before. They can treat it with drugs now, schizophrenia.”
“They don’t seem to have done him much good. Who sent him?”
“Dr Abrahams.”
“Oh, he’s from Nazareth. That explains it. You get a right bunch of loonies up there.”
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