More Shocking E-Mails!

The April 2009 revelations of concocted smears by a Labour Government spin doctor was the tip of a very large iceberg, and in any case is not quite what it seems. The following were intercepted by GCHQ and leaked to the National Enquirer by a whistle blower.

From: PC Guffaw:
Subject: my pension, and yours
Date: Tuesday, 8 January, 2009, 4:02 PM

--- On Tues, 8/1/09, PC Guffaw: wrote:


Now that I am out of the news (and have received my cheque) I am forwarding as an attachment details
of the Swiss bank account wherein you will find seventy-five grand as per our agreement for 
defending my racial discrimination claim with such vigour.

It remains to be seen how anyone could believe the third highest ranking non-white officer in the country 
could be the victim of discrimination by his boss, unless he thought he should have had your job. 
But as the saying goes, no one ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence 
of the British public.

I trust too the force with continue to defend all claims brought by civilians with equal vigour. 
Did you know by the way that in 2006 we spent seventeen grand of public money defending one 
claim for five thousand?

Fuck the suckers
your favourite "Paki"


--- On Thurs, 02/4/09, Sir Paul Stephenson: wrote: From: Sir Paul Stephenson: Subject: Tomlinson post mortem - in confidence To: Date: Thursday, 2 April, 2009, 2:17 AM Dear Dr Patel, Further to my phone call, I cannot stress too much how important is this post mortem. If there were any suggestion that the officer who struck him were in any way responsible for his death there would be civil unrest in London on a scale that we haven't seen since the poll tax protests. I trust therefore you will recall our little talk about Bernard Spilsbury and the case of Dr Crippen. I needn't point out that Sir Bernard was knighted for his services, and I can see that your career is clearly following the same path. By the way, I have already cleared your cousin's application; there should be no further problems when he, or any of your other relatives, visit the UK in future.


From: David Cameron: Subject: nice one, D To: Date: Sunday, 19 April, 2009, 4:45 PM --- On Sun, 19/4/09, David Cameron: wrote: Damien, Many thanks for helping me fix that cunt Brown. Rest assured that when we take power and after the smoke has cleared I will ensure you have a far more meaningful post on a larger salary. In the meantime, please find enclosed a cheque for thirty-five grand as a token of my appreciation; just sold my story about Ivan to one of the glossies. Future PM


From: David Cameron: Subject: Can you help me shaft Boris? To: Date: Sunday, 20 July, 2014, 7:48 PM Alison, The Max Clifford trial has given me an idea. Pity we had to throw Rolf Harris to the wolves too but the smokescreen was unavoidable. No one will now believe any of the dirt Clifford has on the Tory Party, but there may be a more personal threat on the horizon. Although he keeps insisting he is not interested in the top job, I wouldn't trust Boris any further than I could throw him. I wonder if it might be possible to engineer a similar scandal against him. It's well known he can't keep it inside his trousers, and if in the run up to the next election a woman were to come forward and accuse him of raping her back at uni, that would take the sting out of any campaign, especially if others were to come forward and make similar claims, as they always do with public figures. There is no need for him to be tried for or even charged with rape, but it's the old story, throw enough mud. Please let me have your thoughts. Luv Dave From: Alison Saunders: Subject: Can you help me shaft Boris? To: Date: Tuesday, 22 July, 2014, 09:33 AM Dear Dave, Re eliminating Boris from the race, consider it done! With that ludicrous blond mop he even looks like Savile, so there will no problem with putting him in the frame. I agree though that it might be a bit risky to actually charge him with rape. Might I though make a suggestion on similar lines to deal with the Islamist menace at home? I suggest you draw up a list of radical clerics who can be accused of having sex with boys in the mosque. They're such homophobic twats that we can be assure of massive support from the gay rights lobby and the usual Muslim apostates.


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