Be miserable as miserable can be,
Be fanciful, have flights of fantasy,
Be cold as ice
And hard as steel,
Be seldom nice,
Don’t care or feel,
Be ignorant, sarcastic, taunt and mimic,
But never, never, never be a cynic.
Be arrogant, unkind and bold as brass,
Be bigoted and let your wit be sparse,
Hate Pakis, yids,
And Micks and kids,
And pensioners and invalids,
Despise the world and everything that’s in it,
But never, never, never be a cynic.
Without a doubt the world’s an awful place,
But don’t give up yet on the human race,
Because when you’re least expecting them to,
The worst among our kind come shining through
With flying colours in humanities,
To prove how parodoxical life is.
Be gluttonous, eat to your heart’s desire,
Promiscious, a dozen bastards sire,
Practise deceipt,
Exude conceit,
And spit at people in the street,
Tell every lie as big as you can spin it,
But never, never, never be a cynic.
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