Long time ago, a billiards man, to prove that he was able,
Notched up a break, four hundred thousand plus upon the table,
It took a good three weeks to make, and still was not completed,
An awesome feat it was indeed, ’twill never be repeated,
Cos nobody plays billiards now, except the odd palooka,
It’s such a boring game to play, and watch, they’ve switched to snooker,
But snooker is an off-shoot of a billiards game: pink pool,
And now is played worldwide from Canberra to Liverpool;
It has four million acolytes alone in humble Britain,
And many people as spectators by the game are smitten.
Three cheers for Neville Chamberlain and co, their innovation
Breathed life into a lukewarm corpse, let’s give them an ovation,
And stop a sec’ and think: if billiards hadn’t been so boring
We’d none of us play snooker now, in fact, we’d still be snoring.
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