The One That Got Away

 

Come out of your hideaway, miserable sod!
We’ve chased you for many a year,
Come out of your hideaway, said Mr Plod;
Oh no, said the gambler, no fear!

We know it was you, so fair cop and all that,
Now how about packing it in?
You’ve gotta be kidding; I know where you’re at,
You don’t even know where I’ve been.

All right, Lucky fellow, you’ve powerful friends,
But you’re on the run from the law,
So isn’t it time that you made your amends?
You really are kidding – haw, haw!

Give up while you can, and we’ll do you a deal,
We’ll put a good word to the judge;
The Yard are in hot pursuit, hard on your heel.
To that I can only say: Fudge!

You live in South African! Do I indeed?
Bolivia? Chile? Brazil?
We follow you everywhere. You’ve not a lead,
You’re green as a new dollar bill!

You can’t escape justice forever, old man;
We got Ronnie Kray, we’ll get you.
Who can’t escape justice? I bloody well can!
You haven’t the foggiest clue.

You’ve shaved your moustache and you’ve got a disguise,
But we’ve got your fingerprints, Lucky;
And you’ve got a problem, you have to tell lies,
One day you’ll be coming unstuck-y.

A problem indeed! I’m doing all right,
I live off the fat of the land,
And you’ve never had me not once in your sight,
You idiots won’t understand

Or come to your senses, I’ve got off the hook,
I’m free for a life and a day,
Cos I ain’t no run-of-the-mill petty crook,
I’m Lucky Lord Lucan
Who got clean away.

Yeah, I know the one WHO got away is correct, in fact that is one of the common grammatical errors that bugs me, for some reason, but here I was using it as a pun. If you are not familiar with it, ask any angler. On a more serious note, check out ‘Lucan’ — Portrait of a lowlife aristocrat

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