Only Mugs

If you should fall foul
Of a chicken in blue,
With a pointed hat, cowl,
Icy daggers at you,

And a little black book
With a pencil and tape on,
Donít bow to his menacing look:
Keep your capon!

Well may he astound you,
But donít let him bug
And disturb and confound you:
Heís only a mug!

If a timer and mutions
Is gauging your work
When you use the ablutions,
Donít rush like a jerk,

Go about it unhurried,
Heís clocking your crap!
How can favour be curried
With such a prize sap?

Well may he astound you,
But donít let him bug
And disturb and confound you:
Heís only a mug!

As too the conductor
Who says: ďPay your fare!Ē
And the hostess who tells you
To fasten your belt,

And every inspector,
And all bureaucrats,
Because youíre the elector,
While theyíre only prats.

The bullies who push
You around as they will:
Whatís up with you, mush,
Does it give you a thrill?

Or a hard-on, orgasm?
How íbout you, old girl?
Does it tickle your chasm
To act like a churl?

If theyíre feeling uptight
Youíre the cat they all kick,
When you see them in that light
They sure make you sick.

So let them astound you,
But donít let them bug
And disturb and confound you:
Donít you be a mug!

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