Playground Quickie

 

Scene: A school playground. A small boy of Middle Eastern appearance is unwrapping a chocolate bar. A much bigger boy walks up behind him and twists his ear cruelly.

Small boy: OW!

Big boy: ALL RIGHT, HUSSEIN, GIVE US YER CHOCOLATE BAR.

Small boy: OW! NO, LET GO.

Big boy: GIVE US ’ALF OR I’LL TAKE THE LOT.

Small boy: OWW (long drawn out whine) I GAVE YOU HALF YESTERDAY, AND THE DAY BEFORE.

Big boy: (In his ear, still twisting it) YEAH, WELL YOU CAN GIVE ME ’ALF TODAY AS WELL, CAN’T YER? UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO BEAT YOU UP AGAIN.

Small boy: ’OW, YOU LEAVE ME ALONE OR I’LL CALL MY MUMMY.

Big boy: (Mimicking) YOU LEAVE ME ALONE OR I’LL CALL MY MUMMY. WELL, YOU GO AHEAD AND CALL YOUR MUMMY, AND I’LL BEAT ’ER UP AS WELL.

Small boy: I WARNED YOU, FLASHMAN (composed) MUMMY, MUMMY, HELP! (Shouted).

Big boy: MUMMY, MUMMY, HELP (mimicking).

Small boy: HERE SHE COMES.

Big boy: (Looking up) UHHH! (His eyes bulge and his mouth falls open in surprise).

(The camera changes to show a seven foot Egyptian mummy advancing on the two boys, arms swinging in robot fashion).

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