Smoking Quickie

Scene: A TV screen. Close up of a manís face. He is smoking a cigarette.

Voiceover: (Sombre male voice) THIS MAN IS ENJOYING HIMSELF. HE IS DOING SOMETHING ONE IN THREE ADULTS DO EVERY DAY. HE COULD BE YOUR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR, YOUR BEST FRIEND, OR EVEN YOU...(during the voiceover the scene can switch to close ups and long shots of different people smoking. They should all be well dressed, professional loooking people. They should all look happy and in radiant good health).

Voice: (Continuing) THIS MAN IS A SMOKER. LIKE YOU HE IS A RESPONSIBLE, INTELLIGENT INDIVIDUAL. HE HAS MADE A CONSCIOUS DECISION TO BECOME A SMOKER. HE KNOWS ALL ABOUT THE SO-CALLED DISADVANTAGES OF SMOKING, AND HE HAS WEIGHED THEM UP AGAINST THE PLEASURE HE GETS OUT OF IT. AND HE HAS HAD ENOUGH OF DOCTORS AND OTHER SO-CALLED EXPERTS REMINDING HIM THAT HE RISKS CONTRACTING LUNG CANCER, HEART DISEASE, BRONCHITIS AND PNEUMONIA BECAUSE OF IT. HE KNOWS ALL ABOUT INCREASED SUSPECTIBILITY TO COLDS, INFLUENZA AND OTHER INFECTIONS, AND HE KNOWS THE FINANCIAL COSTS, AND THE SOCIAL COSTS; THAT HE COULD TAKE AN EXTRA HOLIDAY A YEAR IF HE DIDNíT SMOKE, AND THAT HIS TEETH WILL TURN YELLOW AND HIS BREATH WILL WREAK OF TOBACCO, HE KNOWS ALL THESE THINGS, AND STILL HE CHOOSES TO SMOKE. BUT THERE ARE THOSE AMONGST US WHO WHO TAKE AWAY THIS RIGHT. THESE PEOPLE ARE THE ENEMIES OF DEMOCRACY, AND THE ENEMIES OF FREEDOM. THROUGHOUT THE WESTERN WORLD, SMOKERS ARE BECOMING INCREASINGLY UNPOPULAR; BUT IN A TRULY FREE SOCIETY, IT SHOULD BE SAFE TO BE UNPOPULAR. DONíT LET THE TOTALITARIANS WIN: STAND UP FOR SMOKERSí RIGHTS NOW.

(The scene changes to a head and shoulders shot of a man. He is about fifty, pale and wearing a top hat and undertakerís garb. It is his voice. He speaks again, this time to the camera).

WRITE TO YOUR MP, OR SEND FOR OUR FREE BOOKLET AT THIS ADDRESS.

(An address is flashed onto the screen, white on black, and he reads it out).

FREEPOST, THE FEDERATION OF BRITISH UNDERTAKERS, PO BOX DOUBLE ZERO, LONDON WEST ONE.

(Return to undertakerís face).

Voice: YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE.

(Slowly a skull is superimposed over his face. It lingers for perhaps two seconds, then fades out to the sound of steadily rising mocking laughter).

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