Sweet girl next door, you were our finest flower,
Blue-eyed, blonde-haired and chirpy as a lark,
The nation loved you and your Crimewatch hour,
But now you’re only one dead copper’s nark.
Did someone put a high price on your head?
Or did an unpaid hit man shoot you dead?
You thought you were the bees’ knees, big mouth Dando,
Another crime solved by our darling Jill,
Ever the first to lend The Filth a hand-o:
Talk’s always cheap, but it takes guts to kill.
In broad daylight did retribution come:
You were struck down, the nation was struck dumb.
They sought me high and low, your friends the coppers,
But I was gone like early morning mist.
They sought me on a bus, in crowds of shoppers,
In banks, in letters, on your mailing list.
They sought me high and low with ne’er a clue,
They might as well have hunted Doctor Who!
There have been many killers so prolific
That they’ve earned places in the halls of fame
Their slaughters have been senseless and horrific,
A source less of awe than eternal shame,
But there’s no shame or stigma cast on me
For blasting you into eternity.
Press, radio and TV told your story,
The preacher sang your praises in your church,
Gold bless Jill as she walks the streets of Glory,
(And curse the swine who knocked her off her perch),
Our hearts are heavy, terrible our loss.
Good riddance Dando, it’s your turn next, Ross!
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