Rob didn’t see Kenny again until Tuesday, and when he did, it was obvious that he was suffering from a crashing hangover. As Rob made coffee for both of them in Kenny’s kitchen, he called out to him, “I hope you didn’t hit the bottle on account of our little excursion at the weekend.”
“Guilty conscience, me? Leave off.”
“What’s wrong then?”
“Nothing I can’t handle.”
“You have been drinking a hell of a lot lately if you don’t mind my saying so.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I haven’t been running for over a week either, I’ll get up early and go tomorrow.”
“You got a problem?”
“Nothing I can’t handle, Rob, honest.”
Ever since they had abused each other, Rob had felt they had been as close as brothers, as indeed they had. Neither of them ever mentioned their disgusting physical liaison, for that was all it had been, but it had cemented their relationship, and whereas before Rob had always been very much the junior partner, after he had buggered Kenny, he had become an equal. And, although neither of them recognised it or would have put it in so many words, after their joint violation of Miss Patel, Rob had become the senior partner. That had been only two days ago, but already it was Rob who was making the running, and Kenny was beginning to feel a shade uncomfortable.
“When you’ve got yourself sorted out, I’ve got an idea what we can do next,” said Rob.
“Yeah. What?”
“A burglary.”
“How about a robbery?” said Kenny, “a proper blag, tooled up and everything?”
“How about both? On the same day.”
Kenny was thoughtful, “We’ll have to be a lot more careful than the last time, especially with firearms.”
“Agreed.”
“Let me sort this thing out first. It’ll only take a couple of days.”
“Sure?”
“Yeah, I’ve taken steps already, just gotta wait and see.”
Kenny kept himself to himself for the rest of the week and Rob knew there was definitely something wrong. He seemed to be leaving for work earlier in the mornings too, but at least he didn’t have another drink that week. Rob asked him if he’d like to go into town on Saturday but Kenny said he had a lot of work to do. Taking this as a bit of a brush-off, Rob returned to his graphic design, he planned to work all weekend because on Tuesday he had to visit a firm in Birmingham. Kenny knocked on his door Sunday night and asked him if he’d be going to London the next day. When Rob said no, Kenny pushed him and asked if he’d be going out at all that week.
“I’ve gotta leave early for Brum on Tuesday.”
“Birmingham, what for?”
“I’m doing some work for a publisher there, couple of book covers and things, logos, you know.”
“Oh.”
“Come and have a look.”
“No, it’s all right. You gonna be there all day?”
“If I’m lucky the managing director will take me out to lunch.”
“What are you doing afterwards?”
“Coming straight back. Why, have you got something in mind?”
“Yeah.”
Rob thought he wanted to get on with the burglary or the armed robbery but Kenny said, “Like to come with yer, if you don’t mind.”
“Sure, aren’t you working Tuesday though?”
“No. Got the day off.”
Rob shrugged his shoulders, “Fine.”
“What time you leaving?”
“’Bout eight.”
“See you at eight then, Tuesday. Don’t forget me.”
“I won’t.”
“Get back to my books then.”
Rob bade him good night and, as Kenny went back to his books, he returned to his computer.
Kenny arrived early Tuesday morning and offered to drive Rob to Birmingham, an offer he freely accepted. On the way, he said to Rob, “Don’t pay too much attention to me at the moment, I’ve got things on my mind.”
“Work?”
“Sort of. While you’re wining and dining the MD I wanna have a look around the city. Haven’t been there for a bit.”
“Sure.”
“You fancy doing the blag there?”
“The robbery? Yeah, I suppose so.”
“You don’t think it’s too risky?”
“Of course it’s risky, but you know me, Kenny, I’m...”
“Game for a laugh,” Kenny said in unison with him.
Then they both laughed.
“I was thinking of London, that’s the natural place to do an armed robbery, it’s so fuckin’ big, but the trouble is you’ve got all these IRA bombings going on at the moment.”
“Yeah, right,” said Rob.
Over the past fortnight the tabloids had been filled with nothing else bar the latest campaign by the world’s premier terrorist organisation.
“You’ve got all these spot checks, all these armed police...”
“You don’t have to tell me twice.”
“I think we can do the burglary there, too.”
“You got anywhere in mind?”
“Like I said, I haven’t been there for a while, but I dare say we can find a good industrial estate or warehouse or something.”
“What do you want to take?”
Kenny shrugged his shoulders, “Fuck all, I just wanna do it.”
“Me too, but I like the sound of the robbery. Could be a nice little earner, that.”
“Yeah,” said Kenny, “if we live long enough to spend it. Still, who wants to live forever?”
Rob kept his appointment, went out to lunch with the Managing Director and met Kenny at the pre-arranged rendezvous, beside the escalator on the first floor of the Bull Ring shopping centre.
“Hi,” he walked up to him.
Kenny turned around and said, “How’d it go?”
“Very well,” said Rob, holding up a portfolio and a boxful of floppy disks.
“That’ll keep you going for a bit,” said Kenny.
“Yeah, nice work if you can get it, as the man said.”
Kenny bit his lip and contemplated telling Rob that he’d been sacked but reluctantly decided against it.
“Listen,” said Rob, “I’ll be coming here for the next six weeks.”
“Every week?”
“Yeah. Let’s take a walk,” he said, stepping onto the down elevator. “Did you find anywhere suitable for our next little escapade?”
“One or two ideas?”
“What?”
“I’ll tell you later, in the car.”
“Can we go there now, I wanna put this stuff in the boot then have a walk around.”
“Sure,” said Kenny, looking at his watch.
It was still very early and he figured Rob wanted to do some shopping.
After they had locked Rob’s gear in the boot, they went back up the escalator to the first floor then Kenny followed Rob up and down and around the malls like a dog on a short lead. He was just about to ask Rob what if anything he was looking for when Rob said, “Wait here a minute, Ken,” and walked into a toy shop.
The shop window was filled with weird Chinese puzzles, Rubik cubes and all manner of unusual brain teasers. There were only two or three customers in the shop so a browser was easy to notice. Kenny looked on in amazement as Rob picked up a box, examined it, and, without even looking around, put it in his pocket.
Then he walked over to the toy train counter, and right under the nose of a male shop assistant, picked up a toy train and shoved it into his jacket pocket. Kenny shook his head; the guy must surely have a death wish. Incredibly, he walked straight out of the shop without being challenged, in fact, none of the staff paid the slightest attention to him. Kenny turned around, ignored him and walked off hoping Rob would follow at a discreet distance. It was just possible that Rob had been spotted by a store detective; if he had been, Kenny wasn’t sure what to do, but it was just as well he kept out of it, at least for the moment.
Rob walked after him briskly. At first he was tempted to call out his name, but as soon as he realised it was a deliberate ploy he merely quickened his gait. When he caught up with Kenny he walked past him and waited for him to make the first move.
“Rob, what the fuck are you playing at?” he said, looking away over the balcony.
“Toy trains, I think it’s called.”
“You could have got nicked back there, you didn’t even check to see if you were being watched.”
“That’s what makes it such fun,” he said, “don’t you agree?”
Kenny shook his head slowly, “No, now if we’re gonna do that burglary, then a blag, you’re gonna have to change your attitude, Rob. I’m game for a laugh but I’m not game for fucking about.”
Rob nodded, “Okay, we do it your way, Uncle Ken.”
“And don’t fucking patronise me.”
“Okay, don’t get a tent in your trousers!”
He walked off and Kenny followed him.
“What do you want, apart from toy trains?”
“Don’t know.”
“When you decide, buy it, don’t steal it. This place is crawling with security staff.”
“We’re not gonna do the blag here, then?”
Kenny said nothing, fearing that any comment at all would merely encourage him.
Rob decided he did want to do some shopping after all, and bought himself a couple of shirts. By the time he’d done that and finished walking around, it was nearly six o’clock. At this point Kenny said, “You may have had lunch with the managing director but I’m starving.”
“Want some cake?”
“Nah, there’s a fish and chip shop down there.”
“I’ll join you,” said Rob, “I’ll even treat you.”
“Ta.”
“Just don’t say I never take you out to dinner,” he added in a falsetto and deliberately exaggerated homosexual accent.
“Get away!” Kenny swiped at him but missed widely.
There was a bit of a queue in the fish and chip shop, including a group of schoolgirls and a woman of about thirty with a child at her side. Most of the girls were playing the fruit machine; Rob joined the queue and, either inadvertedly or deliberately pushed in front of the woman. She turned and spoke to him nastily in a stereotype working class accent, “’Ere you, don’t push in.”
Rob turned to her slowly and looked at her down his nose but said nothing.
“We were in front of you,” said the woman, trying to push past him.
“Yeah,” said her daughter.
Rob’s face hardened into a spiteful mask as he replied, “Listen you fucking, little bitch, you see my friend there,” he nodded at Kenny, “well last Sunday my friend and I raped a woman of your age. Picked her up off the street, bundled her into his car and raped her. Fucked her silly. And nobody even noticed. How would you like us to do it to you too?”
“Yeah,” said Kenny, taking his cue and moving in, “and your daughter.”
The woman’s arrogance turned at once to naked fear, her eyes widened, and, almost bursting into tears, she tugged at her daughter and dragged her out of the shop.
“Come on, Teresa,” she said.
Rob waited until she was through the glass door then moved towards it slowly and deliberately, making sure that she knew he was following her. She broke into a run as he reached the door and stepped out onto the pavement, making as if to run after her. Kenny laughed to himself then, taking a note from his pocket, ordered their two fish and chip dinners.
When Rob returned to the shop he insisted on paying and Kenny didn’t argue. On the way back to the car, Kenny laughed and said, “You’ve changed your attitude towards women, Rob.”
“Yeah?”
“Remember how indignant you got when I thumped that arrogant bitch in the supermarket that time?”
“Yeah, Christ, that seems like years ago, yet it’s not that long. Well, you were right, she was a cunt, that one.”
“So was that one.”
“And Hazel was a slag,” said Rob, laughing.
“Miss Patel wasn’t.”
“I bet she doesn’t take many taxis in future.”
“I bet she does. I bet the driver has a real fright too when she gives him a fiver then drops her drawers and says ‘Ssshhh!’”
Rob went into hysterics and laughed all the way back to the car.
As he opened the driver’s door, Kenny said, “Just don’t let’s get careless, huh? We’re playing for big stakes from here on.”
Rob met him eye to eye and held out his hand. Kenny clasped it in a grip of steel and they stood for a full half minute in silent communion, each knowing that from here on in they were playing for very high stakes indeed.
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