ďFan MailĒ From A Faggot

The following E-Mail, dated March 22, 2003, was received from a creature named Seth Piper.

I just had to write this message of thanks to you, Mr. Baron. After reading your pamphlets I can now be sure that there is at least one truly great mind at work in this country today. Who else has the power to enlighten us about the threat from these filthy homosexuals? Keep up the good work.

On second thought, your writings could be something other than the work of a powerfully incisive mind as you would like to present. They might possibly be the rantings of the most ridiculous self-deluded fool I have ever come across.

You must surely have wondered before now: Why doesnít the world listen to what I have to say?

Do you know what the answer is? Itís simply that your head is irredeemably fucked up. Who knows how it happened? Each personís life is a sad product of coincidence, and yours seems to be the saddest of all.

The majority of damaged, hateful people like you have learnt to keep quiet, but you havenít- to hilarious effect. You believe you have something important to say, and the intellectual ability to say it- but it doesnít take an intellectual to realise you donít. You must at least be able to realise that having these feelings and opinions canít possibly lead to anything good for you personally, and that you will surely fade away frustrated and pathetic?

There are so few things that we can be certain of these days. But after reading what you have to say, I can be sure of one thing: no matter what hideous, spiteful, misguided creatures I encounter in the future, none will be so ridiculous as you. (Of course, you shouldnít assume that I will remember your name- just a vague memory of your pitiable existence).

Iím happy, and queer. Clearly, you canít even begin to understand these concepts. I wish you all the unhappiness in the world. Do humankind a favour and either shut up, or die.

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