Letters From A Homosexual

In March 1998, I received an E-mail communication from a self-confessed homosexual congratulating me on my pamphlets Baron’s Guide To Gay Sex and Gay Rights: Rhetoric And Reality, which he had read on Usenet. After responding to him I received another E-mail. His two E-mails - but not mine - are published here for the first time. I have of course preserved his anonymity. I have to say I found them both very thoughtful and very moving.

Alexander Baron,

July 14, 2002

Dear Mr. Baron,

I recently came across your postings on “The Trojan Horse of ‘Gay
Rights’” and your “Guide to Gay Sex” and felt that I had to write you. I
know that it is presumptuous of me to do so. I hope that you will not
mind this unsolicited response to your writing. There is something about
the clarity and directness of your writing that affects me deeply, even
if I don’t always agree with your conclusions. I found the analysis of
“gay rights” particularly brilliant. It confirms many things that I have
thought myself, though coming at the question from a very different

I am a homosexual, but I deeply respect normal people and have become
very uneasy over the whole question of “political correctness.” I was
struck by your observation that the passage of “hate crimes” and “hate
speech” legislation is apt to make normal people hate queers even more
because it will make them blame queers for the loss of their liberty. I
would add that “anti-gay speech” and “anti-gay jokes” are often a way
for normal people to simply vent their natural aversions to
homosexuality and that if the state tries to curb that, it could cause
people to take out their frustrations in more harmful ways, like gay
bashing, etc.

I must also add that I respect your willingness to speak your mind and
tell the truth as you see it. While I don’t agree with all you say, I’d
much rather have someone say what they really believe than to use
euphemisms or cloak their beliefs in a veneer of “political

As a homosexual, I am often embarrassed by the actions and beliefs of
gay activists. It seems to me that as a small minority, homosexuals
should be much more deferential to the ideas and beliefs of people whose
sexual responses are normal. In the long run, that seems to me to be
only sensible since the overwhelming majority of people are normal
sexually and will be controlling the role of homosexuals in society.
Moreover, in the case of homosexuals, our sexual instincts are such that
what seems natural to us is really unnatural (if you can follow what I
mean here). Hence, it is very difficult for those of us who are queer to
have accurate insights about questions of gender or sexuality. I think
intelligent normal men and women should be our guides in such matters.

I must also thank you for your comments about equality before the law
and about your being in favor of the 1967 sex law reform. I know how
much you are revolted by homosexual acts, so I am grateful for your
moderation and tolerance of homosexual individuals.

I hope you do not mind corresponding with a homosexual. I would be very
pleased to hear more of your thoughts on the subject (including
questions of etiology) and on how homosexuals and homosexuality should
be treated in society. I am also willing to answer any questions you may
have of me. Of course, I realize that you are a busy man and that you
may not in any case want to correspond with a homo.

Again, thank you for your analysis.

With best wishes,

Dear Mr. Baron,

Thank you so much for your message. It is very generous of you to
respond to me. Let me say again how much I appreciate your writings on
homosexuality. They are so powerful and seem to speak so directly to me.

I am especially grateful for the compassion you express in your message.
It is especially meaningful precisely because your revulsion at
homosexual practices is expressed so clearly. You are not just making
“liberal feel good” noises. I appreciate your ability to feel for the
human dilemmas queers like me face even as you are outspoken about your
natural aversion to homosexuality itself.

I share your feelings about the euphemism “gay” and appreciate your
plainspeaking. I also share your concerns about the erosion of
individual rights.

Again, thank you for your kindness in responding to me.



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