Its files are crammed with desperate young men
Who for some reason cannot find a mate,
And somewhat older women who by then
Have realised they’ve not much time left to wait.
Old bachelors and fillies are in dearth,
Except for creeps and young unmarried mums,
For single girls correctly gauge their worth,
And aging spinsters quickly do their sums.
[The above was first published in the 1987 anthology We’re Coming For Your Telecom Shares, and the 1988 anthology Wrong Side Of The River].
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