To Introduction To Puzzles And Riddles
As I said before, some stones were better left unturned! The following were not entirely heavy metal or even music oriented, but what is done is done.
What I had hoped for the riddles and puzzles that I wrote en masse from 1984 onwards was that a few of them would be syndicated in newspapers, magazines and the like, in the same fashion as crosswords, word searches, and latterly sudoku. To this end I wrote riddles on different themes, music being one of the most obvious, but I thought children’s comics and women’ magazines would be more obvious target markets. Alas, as the saying goes, it isn’t what you know (or what you can do) but who you know. Indeed, most of the limited success I have achieved in other fields, has been largely down to networking, making contacts, etc. Undoubtedly, the best way to market to a women’s magazine is to sleep with the editor, something that was never an option for a total outsider like me.
The following were originally numbered 1 to 101, and appeared on pages 1-14; here they are numbered (CH1-CH101).
The answers were printed upside down on pages 14-5; page 16 contained advertisements for other ITMA publications.
Italics were not used in the original – which was produced on an old typewriter (remember those?); also, some of the answers were hyphenated to indicate how they were arrived at – eg, stud-Io (as it appeared in the original). I have not done that here.
Aside from that, the initial letters of all the answers here have been capitalised, and a few very minor alterations have been made to punctuation, etc. Number 18 has been rewritten slightly to scan – originally it was posed as a straight question. Number 86 began “Three, seven, five”; in (CR86) this has been altered to “Three, seven, six” – as I have learned to count up to six in the interim. The front cover – which was not designed by me – had black lettering on light blue card, and contained the following words (groan):
Certainly it is original, but so is strawberry ice cream served with gravy, fried apricots and stewed lamb. And I don’t think I’d like that either.
The Heavy Metal
Cryptic Conundrum
Book.
By A Baron
HOW MUCH DO YOU KNOW ABOUT
THE ROCK SCENE?
TEST YOURSELF WITH THIS
ORIGINAL NEW QUIZ BOOK.
(CH1) Warring flowers, ones
Such as are found with guns.
(CH2) In five, five can name
Roy O’s attractive dame?
(CH3) Mr Cooper got this, take note,
When years ago we went to vote.
(CH4) Electric sound, perhaps a whine,
Which ends with rear but starts to dine.
Eight letters.
(CH5) A breeding horse and moon? Good Lord,
This is a strange place to record.
(CH6) To interfere, I think
When Floyd is in the Pink.
(CH7) Bottle gun band
Between two grand
In letters six,
I understand.
(CH8) Canadians in letters four
Might (in great haste) make for the door.
(CH9) The chicken rid a mystery:
The late guitarist. Who was he?
Seven letters.
(CH10) Guitarist, (letters nine), who’ll fit.
He’s less white? Just the opposite!
(CH11) Metal chastising ring
Plays fast. What is this thing?
(CH12) Chop down a tree with such a thing?
Why, some can make it cry and sing!
(CH13) They’re Yanks in half of eight,
And known to osculate.
(CH14) Two places: opposite extremes
Where Dio said black mass, it seems.
(CH15) They had three feet and wings, they say.
(Back in the Sixties, anyway).
(CH16) In a total of letters ten,
Sounds like the cat can’t hear:
But it’s really a group of men
In heavy metal gear.
(CH17) She’s ferrous and she’ll torture you:
A single girl or metal crew.
(CH18) Such music is said
To be denser than lead.
(CH19) A guitar feature that is seen
To worry. Now what can that mean?
(CH20) Colloquially throw some fruit:
The rock ’n’ roller’s at the root.
(CH21) This is a pallindromic concert where
There’s twice the gravity and I’m in there.
(CH22) A motor, laugh and Len
Unite for metal men.
(CH23) Though musically insane to start
This is the girl who’s won my heart.
(CH24) In triple time begin it,
And dance about a minute.
(CH25) I have a string or two, or six,
You’ll know when I’m around
With wah-wah, fuzz, all sorts of tricks,
Because I’m wired for sound.
Fourteen letters: two words.
(CH26) His music live, his fans agree
That in it, so does he.
(CH27) A ten letter word often shortened to five,
From the French),
Take you wench
There, and have a good jive.
(CH28) For this band life is one long trip
Where ex-Santanas come to grip.
(CH29) Hot fowl? no, just the opposite,
It’s named in four and six;
The junkie often has a bit
When he can’t get a fix.
(CH30) A hairy Dick who’s noted for
Fronting a Virgin. Tell me more!
Seven, seven.
(CH31) American actor who might
Be Maggie’s spouse, but isn’t quite.
(CH32) Exotic fruit returns to dance
Where m’s retreat lets t advance.
(CH33) In letters five and six don’t ridicule
This bluesman who comes from a dirty pool.
(CH34) A nod ’n’ season, change and choose...
A lady who may sing the blues.
(But more likely soul).
(CH35) Mary, Roberta, Les and ten
Confuse one of those reggae men.
(CH36) A supplemented circle line:
Five letters preceded by nine.
(A musical term).
(CH37) In seven, four and six a song goes by
As coins rain down on us out of the sky.
(A bit before your time this one, I think).
(CH38) King of beasts begins his name,
In six and six he’s found.
He has an ich as well as fame:
For music he’s renowned.
(CH39) This one is musical, ’twould seem:
Twelve inches based upon a theme.
Seven letters, five.
(CH40) Hit New York and we are
(In seven), in a mix,
And seven more, a star
Who knocks the guys for six.
One more clue to aid this:
A rocket city miss.
(CH41) An all-round cricketer, a great,
Less one: the man they love to hate.
(CH42) Does Tom own half this label?
Give the answer, if you’re able.
The soul answer.
(CH43) Lennon-McCartney tell us to
Return. You want another clue?
Arizona.
(CH44) A note musicians make;
It’s half a shake.
Ten letters.
(CH45) The holy house street
Paul crossed in bare feet.
(CH46) One fact that should be stated
Is this rodent’s animated.
Name him in six, five.
(CH47) This fighter was born with a chip on his shoulder,
Or was it a stone, maybe even a boulder?
Five letters.
(CH48) Were he or she to reassign
Might such a vocalist resign?
(CH49) I’m silver in beginning...long
A favourite John Lennon song.
(CH50) A twelve inch gun:
A Beatle one.
(CH51) Hey man, I dig that flashy suit:
You’re always in vogue, (and pursuit).
But who are you?
Nine, eight, two and seven.
A Kinky one.
(CH52) Clint Eastwood’s anti-hero seen
To be both ruthless and unclean.
(CH53) Holy man and betrayer? Snakes alive!
It’s heavy duty metal in five, five.
(CH54) Little Josephine and six come to good
En Francais, modern rocker. Understood?
(CH55) Sat round Indian currency:
A famous lead guitarist he.
(CH56) Canadian band (power three),
Whose name is simply victory.
(CH57) If you look after him you’re smart:
Six letters, three, he’s in the chart.
(CH58) Take round a shrub:
Who is she? There’s the rub!
Four and four.
(CH59) He’s seen with royalty, but ah!
Is he (in his own right) a star?
Seven letters, seven.
(CH60) The last comes twice; the pot goes back:
The boys from Texas. Name them, Mack!
(CH61) Album from Far East
Purple men released.
(CH62) Five, three: the vault was bare,
And Elton’s first was there.
(CH63) A band of young men? Surely not.
They’ve been around since the year dot!
(CH64) Three men noted for
Their energy. Loud. Raw.
Five letters, four.
(CH65) An anorexic girl? Could be
Some rockers o’er the Irish Sea.
(CH66) A single play
From Oslo, might one say?
(CH67) Five, four, member of Marley’s gang
Who ended with a sudden bang.
(CH68) Colourful music you should sus
When I say half leap to the bus.
(CH69) My first is in post,
But never in cart,
My second in most,
And also in part,
My third is my fifth,
And is found in acute,
My fourth is in grievous,
But not in astute,
My sixth and my first
Make up two thirds of sow,
And when you hear music
Quite often I’m how.
(CH70) Goes via Spain:
That guitar man again.
(CH71) The airstrip man (six, five), who’s got
To finish with a snooker shot.
(CH72) Eight: Biblical rock town.
In Scotland they’re renowned.
(CH73) An army cat
For Bowie? Fancy that!
(CH74) Merge a bison and gravity
To make a six string. Can it be?
(CH75) It’s something I’m
Certain one day I’ll climb.
When I snuff it!
Eight letters, two and six.
(CH76) These likeable little chaps, said your Ma
Would never hang around with GNR.
(CH77) My dole goes round
To make a pleasing sound.
(CH78) A record said
To be unwed.
(CH79) Place more than a little bizarre
Where Mr Zappa kept his car?
(CH80) German things
Famous for their stings?
(CH81) Guitarist from the fifth month who can be
Seen with the monarch in five letters, three.
(CH82) In four, five it’s at hand:
Final dance for The Band.
(CH83) In four, his name is on my lips:
The vocalist who’s had his chips.
(CH84) Three, seven, six: I’m at a loss
To name a man devoid of moss.
(CH85) Four letters, six, he does of course
Turn tables, and not ride a horse.
(CH86) The Greek, half the side and the century
Combine, perhaps to make a melody?
(CH87) Five nil to ice: don’t lose this thing,
For if you do, you’ll never sing.
(CH88) The Sun-god, Mr Dio and
Turn it on to hear a band.
(CH89) Umbra men you’ll recognise if
You’re able to remember Cliff.
Three, seven.
(CH90) A youngster. Purple played it.
But he only just made it.
(CH91) Empty garden: something’s wrong.
Enquire what with a famous song.
Five, four, three, three, seven and four.
(CH92) They were a British rock group of some fame;
They share anonymous doctor’s surname.
(CH93) TV show
Where best fathers go.
(CH94) A hundred cry about a band. I’d say
They’re not from Britain, but the USA.
(CH95) Ale plus
To this axe man, you’ll surely sus.
(CH96) A burning sphere,
When Blackmore’s here.
Or Mr Paice, Mr Lord...
(CH97) Saxon single? I’ll have you know
It’s an album by UFO!
(CH98) Four, two, three, three: in Stewart’s rhyme
A twelvemonth and a feline time.
(CH99) The French dance in
A repetitive tin.
(CH100) Sit, rest and raid
Precariously made.
(CH101) Three, seven: the firm in the wrong
In which good boys do not belong.
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