Deep Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously

1. Save the whales: collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like...night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
10. Support bacteria: theyíre the only culture some people have.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
14. If you believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
15. Ok, so whatís the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, youíre in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just donít have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20. Eagles may soar, but weasels donít get sucked into jet engines.
21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
22. I couldnít repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
25. Just remember - if the world didnít suck, we would all fall off.
26. Light travels faster than sound; thatís why some people appear bright...until you hear them speak.

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