Best described as an anthology of pure filth, Scatoligicus Eroticum was Compiled by Eugene Phillip Rix and Edited by Anthony William Anka. Yeah, right. This fine pamphlet was published by I.T.M.A. in February 1993, and should have been called Scatologicus Eroticum, but I proofed it myself, and although I did a thorough job, proof reading is a task that is best undertaken with two pairs of eyes. At least!

I didn’t sell that many copies, but I consider this a worthy effort. Its contents in order – and with some comment – are as follows: Ode To A Condom – I have always hated these things, but this is not a bad sonnet, considering. Ode To A Blow Up Doll – and I have NEVER used one of these! Kiss Daddy Good Night – inspired, obviously, by press reports about incest; A Catholic Prayer – I found this in a Dennis Wheatley novel (I used to devour these in my teens), it may not be totally verbatim, but I can hardly claim any sort of authorship.

Ode To Uralagnia, Ode To Fellatio, Ode To Cunninlingus and Ode To A Wank are fairly straightforward, except Urolagnia should be spelt thus! Scataloginode: To A Stool is if I recall, the first poem ever to bear this title; a Scataloginode is a short, intensely scatological piece of verse; Scataloginode: To A Fart is the second such piece, and was the first to be published on-line. Ode To Diarrhoea – yes, hmm; Ode To Anilingus is one for our gay friends. Stanzas On One Of The Pitfalls Of Homosexuality was originally to be called Baronmetric Stanzas On One Of The Pitfalls Of Homosexuality as it is an early example of Baronmeter (such modesty). In Praise Of AIDS: An Ode To HIV was written from the heart, as was The Last Fairy Tale. This latter was one of a large numbeof poems published on this site in HTML format the day it opened for business, ie the day it was first advertised to the world: April 8, 2000.

I have no idea where Playground Rhyme comes from, but I do remember learning it in my first year at primarily school. If not my first month! Song Of The Necrophiliac was written as I Am A Necrophiliac; its inspiration was the joke at the end, which if I recall I first heard from a fellow bedsit dweller in Ladbroke Grove circa 1975. Oedipus Didicoi is another poem written from the heart, but the less said about this, the better; Your Obedient Servant is a bit of kinky humour; Buck Shot is a couplet adapted from an old joke. The Feminist and the following Take It Like A Man reflect my political incorrectness; the former was published here in HTML format on April 20, 2002; the latter would become the title of a 1994 anthology, and was inspired by a joke I heard from a friend in Leeds circa 1980 – about a man who sodomises a dyke. Fuck Off is a short poem with a serious message similar in content to the more sophisticated Love Song that was published on this site (then hosted by Geocities) on January 3, 2001. All The Nasties: A Celebration Of Six Centuries Of Serial Sex Killers consists of Song Of Bluebeard, Prince Of Darkness, The Blood Countess, Ripping Yarns, The Beast Of Cranley Gardens, Song Of The Yorkshire Ripper and Deliberate Stranger. It was published in its entirety in the Poetry Section in HTML format on September 17, 2000. Jet Slag was inspired by an encounter with a particularly unpleasant air hostess (and the observations of a much travelled fellow passenger) the first time I flew. The Nun and Nurse Enema are not to be taken seriously; Rose was first published in the anthology We’re Coming For Your Telecom Shares; Ode To Canis Urbanis was inspired by a revealed truth about dogs, and is dedicated to my colleague Mark Taha; Ode To An Obscene Tome has an obvious inspiration, while Oysters reflects what I have come to expect from life.

December 2, 2009

Click here to download the anthology in Portable Document Format.

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