Music And Song Details

 

Click the title for a PDF file of the relevant sheet music (where available). Where the HTML lyrics differ from those as printed, the former are to be taken as correct.

There are a few music files on this page at the end of the relevant lyrics or explanatory text.

I should point out that if the quality of these recordings leaves much to be desired, none of them was ever intended for public broadcast (with the exception of the Andrew Savage rendition of Be Good To Yourself). Though I never had any aspirations to become a performer, I had hoped some of them would be taken up by performers, commercial or otherwise, but apart from Andrew...I may one day commission MIDI or other tracks of some of the recordings and sheet music on this page but for now my readers – both of them – will have to take what is on offer. I am most grateful to Rob Becker of RDB Media whose editing and enhancement was inavaluable, although even he couldn’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.

 

A Song For The Trees

 

When I was a young man
There were trees around here,
Forest and woodland,
And the waters were clear,
But that is all gone now and so far away,
No woodlands or waters to hunt, fish or play,
And as I grow older I look to the day
When the trees are no more,
Only mem’ries of your,
Can this happen somehow?
Is it going to now?

But who’ll sing for the trees when the forests have fled?
Who’ll shout of their green when the mountains are dead?
Come all you good people, we can’t let them die,
There’s still time to save them – if we all try.

The lions and cheetahs
That we see in the zoo,
Tigers and hyenas,
And the antelope too,
They all face extinction because of Man’s greed,
There isn’t much time now, so Mammon take heed:
Your silver is worthless, your gold we don’t need
When the flora is gone,
And the fauna is done,
This is happening now,
We must stop it somehow...

But who’ll sing for the trees when the forests have fled?
Who’ll shout of their green when the mountains are dead?
Come all you good people, we can’t let them die,
There’s still time to save them – if we all try.

At one time there were so
Many wales in the sea,
But hunted high and low,
Soon no longer will be,
Great tankers while travelling back from the Capes
Spill ton after ton of crude oil in their wakes
Polluting the oceans and rivers and lakes,
Still the ships dump their oil,
The environment spoil,
This is happening now,
Can we stop it somehow?

But who’ll sing for the trees when the forests have fled?
Who’ll shout of their green when the mountains are dead?
Come all you good people, we can’t let them die,
There’s still time to save them – if we all try.

Life in connurbations
Is at such a fast pace,
But men of all nations
Whatsoever their race
Must all join together and work to preserve
The flora and fauna of our Mother Earth,
We don’t have a vast and unending reserve
Of these things to enjoy
So we must not destroy,
We can save them somehow
If we start working now

So let’s work for the trees and the woodlands to save,
Or their beauty will go in our time to the grave,
For the sake of our children we can’t let them die,
There’s still time to save them, if we all try.

 


Adam’s Rib

 

Woman of the Night,
Sister to the Snake,
Stealer of the Light,
How many hearts you break.

Your wantonness is beauty,
You never seem to tire
Of luring us from duty
And fuelling our desire.

Woman of the Dark,
Enticing me to bed,
For you Cain bears his Mark,
For you his tears are shed.

You realised I was searchin’,
You even guessed what for,
You promised me a virgin,
Then came to me a whore.

Woman of my Spring
When Love was all around
I felt your passions sting
As you dragged me to the ground.

Ten years my wounds don’t heal,
You’ve left my head a wreck;
What would I give to feel
My hands around your neck?

Woman from the dawn
Of time, so false and glib,
Long may men curse the spawn
Who sprang from Adam’s Rib.

Woman so sincere,
We’re always taken in,
But scratch off your veneer
To touch the Devil’s skin!

 


Ain’t Life Grand?

 

Another guitar instrumental composed and played (extremely badly) by Yours Truly.

Click here to download Ain’t Life Grand?.

 


Airport In Autumn

 

La,
La, la, la,
La, la, la,
La, la, la.

La,
La, la, la,
La, la, la,
La, la, la.

Airport in Autumn,
The wind rising slow,
Your aircraft’s departing,
Ad I’m flying low,
And soon I’ll be grounded,
Then where will I go,
And what will I do
Living apart from you?

Airport in Autumn,
The wint-e-ry breeze
Brings tears to my eyes
And I stifle a sneeze,
My body is frozen,
My mind ill at east,
For what will I do,
Living apart from you?

I know there’ll be no turning back,
But I’m still under your spell,
For you the outlook is black,
But for me, the future will be Hell.

La, la, la, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la, la.

Airport in Autumn,
The sky turning grey,
The wind rising slow,
The jumbo is flying
My loved one away,
My head is on fire,
My feet, they are clay,
for what will I do,
Oh what will I do,
Tell me what will I do
Living apart from you?

[Click here for explanatory note.]

 


Alleycats

 


Another Lonely Saturday Night

 

Workin’ like a dog until the weekend,
Friday night clock off, go home, crash out,
Too tired to dress up and go to a dance,
Stay home an’ watch TV,
Wish I had somebody who would spend the time with me.

Do my wash and shoppin’ come the mornin,
Laze around the house all afternoon;
Like to put on a suit and tie,
Score with a chick like any normal guy,
But I know what’ll happen if I try for sure,
So I don’t even think about it anymore.

And it’s just another lonely Saturday night,
While other guy are ridin’ with their girls in cars,
I try to kid myself I’m all right,
Don’t wanna haunt the wine and the disco bars.
It’s just another wasted weekend,
I’m like a winter squirrel stuck in his drey,
I’m sitting’ here wishin’ my life away,
At twelve o’clock I turn out the light,
And try not to think about another lonely Saturday night.

It’s just another lonely Saturday night...

Dur, dur, dur, dur, dur, dur, dur, dur, dur, dur...

Every good boy deserves favour,
And every man deserves to have a lady love,
I didn’t want a goer or a raver,
Just someone I could cherish would be enough.
I always was the one was neglected,
And even when I acted bold,
They laughed at me, and I was rejected,
I tried to come on through,
And take a philosophical view,
But I always ended out in the cold.

Now it’s just another lonely Saturday night,
While other guy are ridin’ with their girls in cars,
I try to kid myself I’m all right,
Don’t wanna haunt the wine and the disco bars.
It’s just another wasted weekend,
I’m like a winter squirrel stuck in his drey,
I’m sitting’ here wishin’ my life away,
At twelve o’clock I turn out the light,
And try not to think about another lonely Saturday night.

It’s just another lonely Saturday night...

Dur, dur, dur, dur, dur, dur, dur, dur, dur, dur...

Etc, fade.

 


Aphrodite’s Child

 

Little girl, lookin’ so lonesome,
Don’t you know where you are from?
Little girl, all on her own-some,
Lookin’ for a time and place where she’ll belong.
Her Mamma was a beauty queen,
But she didn’t treat her right,
An’ now she’s turnin’ seventeen
She’s begun to see the light,
To see that there is
No love for Aphrodite’s Child,
Runnin’ free with the wind in her hair,
No love for Aphrodite’s Child,
Mamma’s never had the time to care,
No love for Aphrodite’s Child,
No love for Aphrodite’s Child,
No love for Aphrodite’s Child.

Little girl, don’t you know where you’re goin’?
Can’t you see the way?
Little girl, I can see the hurt is showin’,
Don’t you be so afraid,
Your Daddy was a movie star,
He never had the time
To love you right, that’s why you are
So bitter in the prime
Of your life,
No love for Aphrodite’s Child,
Runnin’ free with the wind in her hair,
No love for Aphrodite’s Child,
Daddy’s never had the time to care,
No love for Aphrodite’s Child,
No love for Aphrodite’s Child,
No love for Aphrodite’s Child.

Little girl, you were dead when they found you,
Hanging in the air,
Little girl, I suppose you were bound to
Do something drastic if you could not bear
The way you were treated,
It’s a tragedy and a cryin’ shame,
But who is at fault, yeah who is to blame
That there was
No love for Aphrodite’s Child,
No love for Aphrodite’s Child,
No love for Aphrodite’s Child.

 


April Fools

 

You know the world is full of losers,
So you needn’t look so sad,
And beggars can’t be choosers,
But it’s really not so bad,
It’s a rainy day in April,
And you’re getting wet right through,
But you’re just another rain-soaked April Fool.

You know for every superhero
There is a none too handsome rogue,
For every Caesar there’s a Nero,
A guy who’s always out of vogue,
Okay, you’re nuthin’ special,
But many serve, few rule,
So I guess you’re just another April Fool.

It’s no use wishing your life away,
For dreams and wishes are manifold,
And often only emptiness they hold;
It’s no use chasing a fantasy,
You have to live with reality,
At the end of the rainbow
You’ll find disillusion just as likely as a crock of gold.

So the world just keeps on turning,
And the wheel of life goes round,
For fame and fortune there are so many yearning,
But very few are found,
But there’s no reason to feel so bad,
Just think of all the good times that you’ve had,
And remember (when it gets you down) the golden rule,
You’re just another April Fool.

Yes, the world just keeps on turning,
And the wheel of life goes round,
For fame and fortune there are so many yearning,
But very few are found,
But there’s no reason to feel so bad,
Just think of all the good times that you’ve had,
And remember (when it gets you down) the golden rule,
You’re just another April Fool.

 


Be Good To Your Lady

 

Be good to your lady,
Don’t go makin’ her cry.
Don’t chide or abuse her,
Take for granted or use her.

This world is full
Of sad, lonely men;
You’re lucky to have her,
Remember that when

You’re alone with your lady,
Or you’re out on a date,
So don’t you go hurt her,
And don’t you desert here.

The grass may look greener
On the other side,
But don’t lose her, brother,
You may not ever find another.

Be good to your lady,
Let her know that you care,
Make her feel that you need her,
And don’t ever mistreat her.

If you should ever get angry with her,
And make her cry,
She might leave you and run to
Some other guy,
So be good to your lady,
Be good to your lady...

 


Be Good To Yourself

 

When you wake up
Take a look in the mirror
And ask yourself
Do you like what you see?

Is the late night sup
Playin’ hell with your liver?
Are your eyes goin’ square
From too much TV?

When you wake up,
Do you relish the mornin’
Or do you think instead:
It’s just another day?

Do you drink from life’s cup
Or do you sit there yawnin’
With a drum in your head
And hell to pay?

Nobody wants to be with you
When you’re lookin’ down an’ feelin’ blue,
But there’s one thing that you can always do:
Be good to yourself.

Be good to yourself,
Don’t live improperly,
The damage is soon done
Once the seed is sown,
Don’t drink too much,
Look after your body,
It’s the only one
You’ll ever own.

Don’t touch the weed,
Don’t shoot, don’t sniff glue,
And don’t overfeed
Your appetite,
Take what you need,
Eat well and drink too,
But alwas heed
That extra bite.
Be good to yourself.

When you finish work
And you’re off for the weekend,
Do you go to ground?
Do you lie in bed?

Don’t become a jerk!
Play squash with your best friend,
Spar a couple of rounds,
And take off that spread.

And when you socialise,
Don’t go with women
Who are fast and free,
You’ve heard this before:

Be save, be wise,
To enjoy good livin’,
Don’t need no cheap thrills,
Don’t need no whore.

There’s no magic formula to find:
Just don’t let self-indulgence make you blind,
Take care of body, heart and soul and mind,
and be good to yourself.

(Repeat chorus: verses 6 and 7, and fade).

[The arrangement at the above link (such as it is) is mine rather than Andrew’s; I’ve long since lost the ability to sight read, and chords were never my strongest point in any case!]

Click here to download the Andrew Savage recording of Be Good To Yourself.

Click here to download the original demo.

 


Believe In Music

 

I believe in flying saucers,
I believe in love,
I believe that one day Man will
Reach the stars above.

I believe in Galileo,
And Von Däniken,
I believe the Universe
Expands without an end.
I believe in Father Christmas,
And in Father Time,
I believe there is no mountain
Man can never climb.
And I believe in freedom,
And I believe in music.

Music to be with me when I’m feeling low,
Music to be with me when I’m high,
Music to be with my children as they grow,
Music now until the day I die.
Music to be part of everything I do,
Take my spirit under its control,
Music for the people every race and hue,
Every living being, every soul.
Oh I believe in music,
Yes, I believe in music.

I believe that woman is the complement of man,
I believe in destiny, and in the Cosmic plan,
I believe that love will always triumph over hate,
I believe that in the stars is every mortal’s fate,
And I believe in freedom,
And I believe in music.

Music to be with me when I’m feeling low,
Music to be with me when I’m high,
Music to be with my children as they grow,
Music now until the day I die.
Music to be part of everything I do,
Take my spirit under its control,
Music for the people every race and hue,
Every living being, every soul.
Oh I believe in music,
Yes, I believe in music.
I believe in music,
Yes, I believe in music.

[Although I was once a member of the British UFO Society, by the time I wrote the music for this...and Father Christmas! Nice riff though. Eat your heart out, John Miles.]

 


Brave New World

 

Gone are the days of mass starvtion
Across the Northern lands,
Now is the hour of deprivation
And the Third World’s outstretched hands.

Inner city life decaying –
How long can we last?
Super-powers still replaying
The dramas of the past.

It’s a brave new world,
It’s a grave new world,
Western mountains of grain,
Famine in the East,
People killing each other
In the quest for peace.

It’s a brave new world,
And a grave new world,
But if we have the will
There is time for us still,
We can save our new world.

Everywhere you look, there’s trouble
For yellow, white and black,
Once we burst the neutron bubble,
There’s no turning back.

Everybody on computer,
Play the numbers game,
Brother’s gaoler, Mammon’s suitor,
Power is their aim.

It’s a brave new world,
It’s a grave new world,
The technology’s faster,
The machine is your master,
You’re a slave in this world.

It’s a brave new world,
And a grave new world,
But if we are defiant
And don’t bow to the tyrant,
We can save our new world.

Soil erosion,
Acid rain,
Pollution, corrosion
Of forest and plain.

War and hunger,
Want and need,
Red hatemonger,
Lust and greed.

Cities growing,
Woodlands shrinking,
Dollar buys a dime,
Never knowing,
Seldom thinking,
There’s so little time.

Freedom waning,
Social bareness,
No one in control;
Stop complaining,
Seek awareness,
Or you’ll lose your soul.

It’s a brave new world,
It’s a grave new world,
Western mountains of grain,
Famine in the East,
People killing each other
In the quest for peace.

It’s a brave new world,
And a grave new world,
But if we have the will
There is time for us still,
We can save our new world.

It’s a brave new world,
And a grave new world,
But if we have the will
There is time for us still,
We can save our new world.

 


Burmese Days

 

Burmese days,
Take me back into my Burmese days,
How I long to live my Burmese days,
Live them over again.

You and me,
Sitting on the lawn and drinking tea,
We were living life so happily,
Take me back to way back then.

Burmese days,
Play the White Man underneath the Indian sun,
Burmese days,
On the frontier where Britannia holds the gun,
All my friends
In this tropic paradise are having fun,
Drinking tea on Asian lawns
Pretending they are still at home in England.

Burmese days,
La dolca vita, oh my Burmese days,
Such hypocritical, pretensive ways,
But that is where I belong.

If I could
Live them over again, then I would,
Got the fever in my English blood,
Had the yearning so long.

Burmese days,
You could be a titled lady, my Mem Sahib,
Or wear sarongs,
And a turban, all that Oriental garb,
Do what you care,
No one gives a damn and nobody will laugh,
They’re drinking tea on Asian lawns
Pretending they are still at home in England.

Burmese days,
Take me back into my Burmese days,
How I long to live my Burmese days,
Live them over again.

Burmese days,
Play the White Man underneath the Indian sun,
Burmese days,
On the frontier where Britannia holds the gun,
All my friends
In this tropic paradise are having fun,
Drinking tea on Asian lawns
Pretending they are still at home in England.

[This has a rather obvious inspiration; not sure Orwell would approve. See also this.]

 


Call Me Round

 

Anytime you’re feelin’ lonely,
Anytime you’re feelin’ blue,
Just give me a call,
Call me around, round, round,
And I’ll come running just to be with you,
You know I love you only
With a love that’s deep and true,
So give me a call,
Call me around, round, round,
If ever you should want to start anew.

My Love it seems but yesterday
The two of us were one,
And yet it’s been so many, many years,
But now you are so far away
And my sunshine is gone,
And still it hurts me to hold back the tears.

Anytime you feel unhappy,
Or painful moments you are going through,
Whatever the reason,
The hour, day or season,
Just call and I’ll come running back to you.

Anytime you’re feelin’ lonely,
Anytime you’re feelin’ blue,
Just give me a call,
Call me around, round, round,
And I’ll come running just to be with you,
You know I love you only
With a love that’s deep and true,
So give me a call,
Call me around, round, round,
If ever you should want to start anew.

Call me around,
My feet will hardly touch the ground,
So swiftly I’ll come running back to you.

[This is a Country And Western style song. I wrote the music, and Alan did a full arrangement. We had a guy who was interested in recording it, but alas...]

 


Can’t Sink A Rainbow

 

You can shoot all the birds of the land and the sea,
You can run all the foxes to ground,
You can plough all the meadows, destroy all the green,
You can lose all the good things we’ve found.

You can maim us and bomb us and send us to gaol,
You can make us a fugitive kind,
You can slander and libel us, and you can rail
Till you’re blue in the face, but you’ll find
That you can’t sink a rainbow.

You can poison the oceans with nuclear waste,
You can dam every valley on Earth,
You can ruin all beauty in rashness and haste,
If you think that will add to your worth.

You can darken the skies with a hydrogen bomb,
You can blot out the light of the Sun,
You can start a third war, Armaggedon may come,
But you know that when all’s said and done
You can’t sink a rainbow.

And when it rains
The Mother is shedding her tears;
She cries for her children,
She cries for her world,
And the evil you’ve done in such a few years.

You can cut up the whale into blubber and steak,
You can kill baby seals for their fur,
You can twist people’s bodies until their hearts break,
But there’s one thing you can’t make occur:
You can’t sink a rainbow.

You can maim us and bomb us and send us to gaol,
You can make us a fugitive kind,
You can slander and libel us, and you can rail
Till you’re blue in the face, but you’ll find
That you can’t sink a rainbow.

No, you can’t sink a rainbow.

[Published originally in VIRIDIAN: a song for GREENPEACE, 1988.]

 


Caprice

 

This is the best recording I made of this piece. I use the word best in its broadest sense.

Click here to download Caprice

 


Caprice En Passant

 

Short and sweet. And stumbling, as ever!

Click here to download Caprice En Passant.

 


Carbonel

 

He’s a cat,
And a real cool cat,
He’s a cat,
And he knows where it’s at,
He’s a cat,
And he knows how to swing
Because he’s the King.

He’s a cat,
And he mews and purrs,
Like a cat
In the shadow stirs,
With the full moon bright
Of a witching night
He knows how to swing.

He’s the King of them all,
Watch him walk on the wall
As the town hall clock strikes one,
Then he’s up on the roof
Running swift and aloof;
Carbonel,
Is the spell of the withc undone?

He’s a cat,
Silent as the tomb,
Darkest minion
Of the twiggy broom,
He’s the light of your life,
He will brighten the gloom,
He knows how to swing.

For a girl and a boy
He’s a bundle of joy
Who by fortune was acquired;
Little Rosemary Brown
Found her pussy in town
When the wicked out witch
Cantrip retired.

He’s a cat,
Under Rosie’s spell,
He’s a cat,
And you’ll quickly tell
When you see where he’s at
That he’s Carbonel,
The one and only King.

(Repeat verse three)

He’s a cat,
Silent as the tomb,
Darkest minion
Of the twiggy broom,
He’s the light of your life,
He will brighten your gloom,
He knows how to swing.
He’s the light of your life,
He will brighten your gloom,
He knows how to swing.
Cos he’s King!

[For context, click here.]

 


Chef’s Surprise

 

Actually, it was the chef who surprised me, the day after!

 


Chelsea Girl

 

Chelsea Girl,
You know I really love your dimpled face,
And when you smile at me
I can’t believe your mine,
You got me shakin’ like a leaf, walkin’ on Cloud Nine.

Chelsea Girl,
It’s a wicked world out there,
But while I’ve got you
And you love me true,
I really haven’t got a care,
But Chelsea Girl...
Don’t you grow up in your Daddy’s world.

Chelsea Girl,
I’m never gonna make it to the top,
I left school when I was just fifteen,
You’re gonna see things I’ve never seen.

I’m gonna make sure that you get
All the things I never had,
Like a proper education,
You won’t end up like your Dad.
Chelsea Girl...
Ain’t gonna grow up in your Daddy’s world.

You’re the best thing ever happened to me,
Oh yes, you are,
You’re your father’s little treasure,
One day you’re gonna be a star.

Sometimes I tire of this wicked world,
It seems so cruel and vile,
But when I look into those big blue eyes,
You make it all worthwhile.

Chelsea Girl,
I’ve seen the years flash by so fast,
When a man grows old,
The world grows cold,
But I’m gonna make the good times last.

I want to see when you leave me
You’ve got another who will care,
But he’ll have to be a special guy
To win the love of one so fair.
Oh Chelsea Girl, don’t you live in your Daddy’s world.
Chelsea Girl, you don’t belong in your Daddy’s world.

 


Chestnuts

 

The first piece of music I ever composed; written in my bedsit at 13 Chestnut Avenue, Leeds, c1979.

Click here to download Chestnuts.

 


Ci Devant

 

Do you see that girl?
Do you know that girl?
She doesn’t look very happy,
You will agree.

She has style and class,
But that’s in the past,
Cos she’s come down in the world,
Really come down in the world.

She was very rich,
Had a pleasant niche,
Her mother married into the aristocracy.
Her Daddy was a lord,
The chairman of the board,
But she’s come down in the world,
She’s come right down in the world.

Ci Devant,
She used to be a debutante,
A lady of high society,
She had everything she ever wanted.

Qu’est-ce-que-c’est?
Why did she throw it all away?
Was it due to a broken romance,
Or circumstances?

She has a rented room,
Wears only cheap perfume,
She cooks for herself,
And she lives off charity.

Her clothes are old and worn,
Her only dress is torn,
She’s come down in the world,
She’s come right down in the world.

She dreams of better times,
Of life in warmer climes,
How she used to sail away
On a winter cruise.

Her eyes are filled with tears,
Thoughts of her early years
Are all she has now in the world,
She has nothing else in the world.

Ci Devant,
She used to be a debutante,
A lady of high society,
She had everything she ever wanted.

Qu’est-ce-que-c’est?
Why did she throw it all away?
Was it due to a broken romance,
Or circumstances?

 


City Of Another Sun

 

City of another sun,
Planet of another star,
When the span of Man is run,
Will you still be shining?

Dweller in another space,
Master of another time,
Will you take our planet’s place
When the Earth is gone?

Stars are shining in the sky,
But they won’t forevermore,
Everything that is, must die,
Every sun cease burning.

City of another sun,
Built beneath an alien sky,
Though you flourish when we’re gone,
One day you too will die.

 


Colour Me

 

Colour me blue
When I’m thinking of you,
The things that we could have
But never did do,
When I loved you so madly,
You needed me too,
Those were such happy days.

Colour me green
When I think of the time
He gave you his heart,
And you gave me back mine,
Since the day that we parted,
The Sun hasn’t shined,
But those were happy days.

Colour me red
When I think of you still,
My head is on fire
And my blood running chill,
And I pray that you’ll leave him,
But I know that you will
Remain with him for ever and ever,
While I’m alone and cold.

Colour me white,
Now my anger is hot,
It’s more than the blues,
It’s a fever I’ve got,
And however I try
I forget you not,
You were a part of me,
And you will always be.

Colour me grey,
Now it’s over at last,
You’re a fairy chimera,
A ghost fading fast,
For the present is now,
And the heartache is past,
I’ll learn to love again,
Oh yeah, I’ll learn to love again,
Oh yeah, I’ll learn to love again,
Oh yeah, but the memories will always remain.

 


Cosmopolitan Lady

 

Her clothes are made in gay París,
She cooks I-tal-i-en;
She likes to dance and travel free,
And dines with tall, dark men.

She sips her claret in the wine bar
Talking tête à tête,
And then she’s riding in the sports car
Of her German date.

She’s a Cosmopolitan Lady,
And she doesn’t give a damn
For the Old School Tory
Or the Empire’s glory,
She’s in love with the liberal man.

She’s a Cosmopolitan Lady,
And she leaves me in a whirl,
Cos I’m an old fashioned guy
Can’t catch the eye
Of the hypermodern girl.

She buys her records from a shop
In Kensington, Earls Court,
She’s into blues and soul and rock,
And every kind of sport.

She’s physical and spiritual,
She practices TM,
She likes her lovers radical,
But I’m not one of them.

She’s a Cosmopolitan Lady,
And she doesn’t give a damn
For the Old School Tory
Or the Empire’s glory,
She’s in love with the liberal man.

She’s a Cosmopolitan Lady,
And she leaves me in a whirl,
Cos I’m an old fashioned guy
Can’t catch the eye
Of the hypermodern girl.

I’d like to sit and talk with her,
But don’t know what to say,
I’d like to kiss and walk with her,
Invite her to my drey.

I’d like to give the girl my heart,
And swear eternally
That I’d be true,
But if I did,
She’d only laugh at me

Cos she’s a Cosmopolitan Lady,
And she doesn’t give a damn
For the Old School Tory
Or the Empire’s glory,
She’s in love with the liberal man.

She’s a Cosmopolitan Lady,
And she leaves me in a whirl,
Cos I’m an old fashioned guy
Can’t catch the eye
Of the hypermodern girl.

I’m just an old fashioned guy
Can’t catch the eye...
Of the hypermodern girl.

[A little poetic licence needed to make the rhyme in the second; twenty-four years or so after this I found out Noël Coward had written a song with the same name.]

 


Crazy Things

 

When I think of all the crazy things I’ve done
These past ten years,
Appears
So many tangled webs I’ve spun,
I’ve told so many needless lies
That I’ve clean run out of alibis,
Yeah, thanks to all the crazy things I’ve done.

When I think of all the loving hearts I’ve broke,
This past decade
With my charade,
I feel I oughta choke,
For girl you were so good to me,
But all I gave was misery:
The crazy, reckless, senseless things I’ve done.

I see you in my wildest dreams,
An angel of the morning,
The love beams
Like a light ray in your smile,
But when I wake I realise
There’s a bitter, cold day dawning,
Cos you were mine and by my side for such a little while.

When I think of all the things I might have been
If I’d not chose’ a gambler’s life
And fate not been so mean,
My heart bleeds like a waterfall,
But now the writing’s on the wall:
The things I’ve never done and never seen.

I see you in my mind’s eye,
You’re a-weepin’ like a willow,
The love you gave was spurned by one untrue,
But now you cry
No more for there is resting on your pillow
The head of someone else who’s loving you.

When I think of how I wasted all that time
I feel so bad
And sad,
But all the fault and blame was mine,
So I guess there’s nothing left for me
’Cept just go on the way I’ve been,
Yeah, I guess I’ll just keep rollin’ down the line.

Perhaps I’ll make my fortune,
Win you back some far tomorrow,
And everything will turn out like it should,
But I live ’neath a waning moon,
And all I have is sorrow,
You know I’d sell my soul
To turn the clock back if I could.

When I think of how I wasted all that time,
I feel so bad
And sad,
But all the fault and blame was mine,
So I guess there’s nothing left for me,
’Cept just go on the way I’ve been
Yeah, I guess I’ll keep on rollin’ down the line,
Yeah, I guess I’ll keep on rollin’ down the line,
And pray to God one day it turns out fine.

 


Curiosity

 

Curiosity,
There’s nothing quite like that,
Curiosity,
Remember what it did – to the cat.
Don’t wanna go and poke your nose in
Where it doesn’t belong,
Cos if you do, you’ll get a thump
On the end of your hooter, and you’ll be for the high jump.

Curiosity
Is bad news at the double,
When you mind somebody else’s business
You’ll wind up in a whole heap of trouble.
Best hear no, speak no, see no evil,
Leave well alone,
Some stones were better left unturned,
Some things best left unknown.

Curiosity,
Why do you want to know?
Animosity
Will surely grow,
Because people take exception to a dirty, little snoop:
Policeman on the trail of a suspected crime,
Or a pressman looking for a scoop.

Curiosity,
Best leave it be.
Curiosity
Kills privacy.

Curiosity
Leaves people in ill-humour;
The trail of a fox
Puts a marriage on the rocks:
Unsubstantiated rumour.

Don’t realise what you’re doin’,
When you’re askin’ leading questions;
You’ll cause somebody’s ruin
With those unkind suggestions.

Curiosity,
Don’t interfere.
Curiosity
Means trouble’s here.
Curiosity:
Mind your own business.

 


Daddy’s Darling Daughter

 

She’s a good girl, she’s a good girl,
She doesn’t play around like the rest of the crowd,
She’s a good girl, she’s a good girl,
Daddy’s darling daughter.

Mr Businessman’s so proud of his little girl,
Loves his daughter Stephanie, more than anything else in the world.
Doesn’t go get layed by boys, doesn’t smoke or drink,
Stephanie’s a perfect girl; that is what he and his wife both think.

She’s a good girl, she’s a good girl,
She doesn’t play around like the rest of the crowd,
She’s a good girl, she’s a good girl,
Daddy’s darling daughter.

Stephanie don’t stay out late, she’s in bed by ten,
Works hard to pass her exams, hasn’t got time to go out with men,
Stephanie she wants to be a barrister at law,
That’s what she is studying every day, evening and weekend for.

She’s a good girl, she’s a good girl,
She doesn’t play around like the rest of the crowd,
She’s a good girl, she’s a good girl,
Daddy’s darling daughter.

Daddy doesn’t know but Stephanie is not in school,
Every afternoon she plays her father for a fool,
Mr Businessman would surely have a heart attack,
If he knew his precious girl was lying on her back,
And his wife would turn a very angry shade of red,
If she saw her innocent young daughter giving head.
Stephanie is a disgrace to her proud father’s name,
When she should be studying, she’s out hustling on the game.

She’s a good girl, she’s a good girl,
She doesn’t play around like the rest of the crowd,
She’s a good girl, she’s a good girl,
Daddy’s darling daughter.

Yeah, she’s a good girl, she’s a good girl,
She doesn’t play around like the rest of the crowd,
She’s a good girl, she’s a good girl,
Daddy’s darling daughter.

 


Don’t Bash The Union

 

You’ll have often heard it said
That the Union is red,
But don’t you be so credulous,
Or you might get misled.

The Union’s often wrong,
And maybe it’s too strong,
But if it hadn’t been for the Union
Where would you now belong?

Don’t bash the Union,
When it calls a strike
To your dislike
And brings about mayhem.

Don’t bash the Union:
Don’t listen to the others,
Who are putting down the brothers,
Because the working man owes everything to them.

If it hadn’t been for theUnion
We’d still be stood in line
For a hand-out from the Church,
And kids would still work down the mine.

If it hadn’t been for theUnion
You’d have no holiday,
Save Christmas, Easter, New Year,
And you’d get no sickness pay.

So don’t get angry when they halt
Production of those cars,
Instead
You ought to bless their heads
And thank your lucky stars.

Of course, it’s true the Union
Does get into a muddle,
It’s been a long and winding road
From the martyrs of Tolpuddle.

You’ve got your Arthur Scargills,
Your Pollitt and your Dash,
But in the end they’ve always
Paved the way for better cash.

And it isn’t just your pockets
That the Union helps to fill,
It fights for compensation
For the injured and the ill.

It helps to raise the livelihood
Of every working man,
So don’t you put it down,
You should be lending it a hand.

Don’t bash the Union,
When it calls a strike
To your dislike
And brings about mayhem.

Don’t bash the Union:
Don’t listen to the others,
Who are putting down the brothers,
Because the working man owes everything to them.

Don’t bash the Union,
When it calls a strike
To your dislike
And brings about mayhem.

Don’t bash the Union:
Don’t listen to the others,
Who are putting down the brothers,
Because the working man owes everything to them.

[This was written as a response to the Hudson/Ford composition Part Of The Union.]

 


Dracula

 

“Welcome to my house,” he says,
“Enter freely, and of your own will.”
The man in black
Is holding back
Until I cross the threshold.

Then he shakes my hand,
At first I didn’t understand,
I thought I must be going mad,
But I have seen the evidence,
He is a creature,
A creature of the night,
He shuns the light,
And like a lizard
Down the castle walls
He slithers and crawls.

At first I didn’t understand,
I thought I must be going mad,
He stands behind me unreflected
And now I know
I’ve been selected
For his women fiends,
A fate more terrible
Than e’en my darkest dreams.

When you look into his eyes
They hold you hypnotised,
You realise
He is the symbol of man’s darkest fears,
He is the Devil’s son,
The blackest, ev’lest one,
He could live a thousand years.

Denn die Todten reiten schnell,”
Or so I heard them say.
Coachman of fiend from Hell
Brought me this twisted way?

But I will not die here,
And I will not become as him,
I have to flee, that’s crystal clear,
But which way do I turn?
Another hour comes the setting sun,
The Count will be abroad,
And whither do I run?

When you look into his eyes
They hold you hypnotised,
You realise
He is the symbol of man’s darkest fears,
He is the Devil’s son,
The blackest, ev’lest one,
He could live a thousand years.

I must be leaving here,
That’s crystal clear,
But which way do I turn?
Another hour comes the setting sun,
The Count will be abroad,
And whither do I run?

[For the full background to and context of the above song, click here.]

 


Elidor

 

Young man, take a look at yourself,
You’ve spent too long in the cold,
The time has come
To boldly run,
And chase that pot of gold,
The sword you now hold
In your hand
May seem like worthless wood,
The days and months may fall like sand,
But life will yet be good.

Young man, get a grip on yourself,
And take your trusting friend,
The two of you
Will venture to
The world where time’s no end,
And in the fading light of a fairy gloaming,
Beyond the twilight door,
The light you will restore...
To Elidor.

There is another time,
There is another place,
Where the unicorn sings,
And the magic rings
Bring a smile to a young girl’s face.

There is another world
Where only children know,
Where no woman or man,
Since time began,
Could ever,
And will never
Go.

Worlds in coalition
For the adult inside the child,
There comes a time
In everybody’s prime
When he ceases to be beguiled.

But though the sense of wonder
May begin to slowly fade,
The magic of youth
Will thunder
On, and leave the world dismayed.

Young man, take command of yourself,
Your finest hour is here,
For you the light
Is burning bright,
You have no cause to fear.
You’ll surely think your eyes deceive,
That you’ve been put into a trance,
For no one who’s of age will believe
Your fantasy romance.

But you will leave this world behind,
The ancient truths you will unwind,
The secret pathway you will find
And restore.
The light to Elidor.

[For context, click here.]

 


Emma Jane

 

Click here to download Emma Jane.

 


End Of A Dream

 

I chased a dream like a butterfly
Through the canyons of my mind,
And I watched my boyhood flutter by
With my fantasies behind;
Down the haunted years
Through the long dried tears
I can see how I was blind,
But it sure did seem a good dream at the time.

I chased the dream like a swift in flight
Down the corridors of youth,
Every adoloscent days and night
Led me further from the truth,
I was hypnotised,
I was dogmatised,
And faith was my only proof,
But it sure did seem a good dream at the time.

I chased the dream like a humming bird
To the fields of Asphodel,
But Elysium was a mocking bird,
And my Heaven turned to Hell
As my dream became a night-
Mare and the light no longer fell
On a lonely man the world had left behind.

I buried my dream and I changed my name
Just a couple of years ago,
And I faced the fire and I braved the flame
Feelin’ deadbeat, tired and low,
But I came right through
As I knew I’d do
When my dream to dust had blown.
But it sure did seem a good dream at the time,
Yes, it sure did seem a good dream at the time.

 


Ephemeron

 

She came to me on a solstice morning
When the sky was misty blue,
With the angel dust in her hair
And Venus in her eyes.

She bade me heed her silent warning
While she swore her heart was true,
But when I saw her standing there
How could I realise...

That we would have so little time,
And with the fading of the light
She would her fairy chain untwine
And vanish to the night?

And so I followed her abroad
But with the rising of the Sun
I couldn’t find the magic ford
To my love, Ephemeron.

You know we would have so little time,
For with the fading of the light
She did her fairy chain untwine
And take herself into the night,

Now I have sought her for a year,
And I will seek till time is done,
But even now I’ve come to fear
That I have lost Ephemeron.

(Repeat last two verses, and fade with echo).

 


Erudite Women

 

There’s some men go for Lolitas,
Some for Senoritas,
And some for old maids.
There’s some like them fair
Of their skin or their hair Some like the cool type a lot,
While some like them hot,
And some like them ever so young,
Some like them tall dark and thin
With a dimple in chin,
And some like them very well hung.

But I like erudite women,
The ones who aren’t dim in
The ways of the world,
The girls with honours degrees,
MA’s PhDs,
They really amaze me,
They make me go crazy...

Erudite women.
Personalities brimmin’
With wisdom, education and charm,
They really turn me on,
The lady doctor and the high school ma’am.

There’s nothing else in this nation
Like sophistication
For a girl in her prime,
That makes a wonderful blend,
Could be the start of a trend,
And it leaves me feeling quite sublime
To know a girl is au fait
And can talk tête à tête
On any subject under the Sun I’m gonna find me one.

Yeah, give me erudite women,
The ones who aren’t dim in
The ways of the world,
The girls with honours degrees,
MA’s PhD’s,
They really amaze me,
They make me go crazy...

Click here to download the demo version of Erudite Women.

 


Farewell To The Emerald

 

A light went out in Ireland
This January day
As the final chord of the final song
Faded out and died away.

Where once was a bad reputation
Of the darkest vagabond,
Now the broken hear lies unbeating
On its way to the world beyond.

For a light has gone out in Ireland,
See the drink and the damage done,
Fare-thee-well to Emerald,
Our finest, saddest son.

The times they were a-changing
Like they always have been, always are,
But the boys won’t be back in this town anymore,
And there’s no whiskey left in the jar,
No dancing in the moonlight,
No joints left to roll, drinks to mix,
The stage is deserted, the spotlight is gone,
Traded in for the price of a fix.

Yes, a light has gone out in Ireland,
Too late: now the deed has been done;
Fare-thee-well to Emerald,
Our finest, saddest son.

[Thanks for Queen’s Hall, Leeds.]

 


Greed

 

When you take more than you need,
When you make somebody bleed,
You sow a poisonous seed,
Contempt and ill-will are all you breed.
Greed will bring you down.

Your mind will never be freed,
Repentence you won’t heed,
Your lust will feed and feed and feed.
Greed will finish you.

It shouldn’t have happened,
It wouldn’t have happened
If you’d listened to the Master,
But it’s the Devil’s desire,
It’s set your soul on fire,
And you’re headed for certain disaster.

Greed is a good man’s bane,
Greed will only bring you pain,
Greed is the mother of deception,
And greed will be the end of you.

Greed is a bad, bad thing,
Gred will cause you suffering,
Greed will hurt and sting.
Greed will be the death of you.

Greed will finish you.
Greed will kill you. Dead.

 


Groovin’ Tuesday

 

One day a week, one day a week,
I leave my room behind,
One day a week, one day a week,
I go and blow my mind,
I’m in Heaven, I’m in Heaven!
When Groovin’ Tuesday comes around,

Get out of town, get out of town,
Down Spring Grove, that’s where I’ll be,
Go fool around, go fool around,
Where life is free and easy.
I’m in Heaven, I’m in Heaven!
When Groovin’ Tuesday comes around.

Groovin’ Tuesday, you’re my free day,
Make a new way, and a new man out of me,
Groovin’ Tuesday, I just can’t wait
Till Groovin’ Tuesday comes around.

One day a week, one day a week,
My friends are waiting for me,
One day a week, one day a week,
Life will be so worth living.
I’m in Heaven, I’m in Heaven!
When Groovin’ Tuesday comes around.

There we all are, there we all are,
Sat in the local tavern,
Up at the bar, up at the bar,
Or in the corner, laughing.
We’re in Heaven, we’re in Heaven!
When Groovin’ Tuesday comes around.

Groovin’ Tuesday, you’re my free day,
Make a new way, and a new man out of me,
Groovin’ Tuesday, I just can’t wait
Till Groovin’ Tuesday comes around,
Till Groovin’ Tuesday comes around.

 


Hello, My Strange Young One

 

Hello, my strange young one,
Where have you been?
What have you done?
I haven’t seen you round this place
A year or so,
Where have you been?
Where are you gonna go?

Hello, my sad young friend,
I always thought you’d come through in the end,
But I can see your road’s been long and hard,
You’ve grown so old,
You look so tired.

Where are you going to,
For what’s left of your life
What will you do?
I want so much to come along with you,
But you must walk alone.

Maybe they’ll come a time
You’ll learn there’s more to life
Than women, song and wine,
Until that day comes you’ll be sad my strange young one.
Oh Lord, when will you realise what you’ve done?

Hello, my strange young one,
Where have you been?
What have you done?
I haven’t seen you round this place
A year or so,
Where have you been?
Where are you gonna go?

Maybe they’ll come a time
You’ll learn there’s more to life
Than women, song and wine,
Until that day comes you’ll be sad my strange young one.
Oh Lord, when will you realise what you’ve done?

 


Hymn To Gaia

 

Holy Mother, how have your children sinned,
They have despoiled you since history began;
Still I implore you
Don’t let them reap the wind,
Do not extinguish the soul of worthless Man.

Holy Mother, let future men be born
Into a world where your Truth is burning bright;
Don’t let the Darkness deny the coming Dawn,
Do not forsake us, don’t take away the Light.

I have a wondrous dream
That one day we will restore,
The salmon to the stream,
And reverence to your Law.

The waters will flow pure,
The forests will return,
And Gaia’s love endure
Until the Sun shall cease to burn.

Holy Mother, out of Chaos you were born,
You took disorder and fashioned Harmony,
You freed the Slave and gave new Hope to the Forlorn,
Do not desert us in our Hour of greatest Need.

I sense your Presence and Goodness in the Air,
I feel your Spirit breathe Life into the Sea,
Nothing can happen without you are aware;
Holy Mother, hear your humble servant’s plea.

 


I Don’t Wanna Be A Brufen Junkie

 

Doctor, can you help me please?
I got a pain in the back of my neck.
It’s got me tense and ill at ease,
I’m gonna be a nervous wreck
If I don’t get some relief from you
Like I did before, and soon,
Can’t you mix me up some wizard’s brew
With your magic phial and spoon?
But don’t you give me a small pink pill
Because I’d rather ache and ill...
Than be a Brufen junkie.

Doctor, since my girl left home
I’ve undergone such stress,
She hasn’t rung me on the phone,
Or sent me her address,
I need some medicine to make
The pain and tension less,
But not the pills that make me shake,
And leave my head a mess.
Oh doctor, give me something quick,
But I’d rather be a lunatic...
Than a Brufen junkie.

Doctor, here they come again,
The tremors and the shakes,
I need some stuff to kill the pain,
And take away the aches,
But not the Brufen; don’t you know
The way it tortures me?
Cos when I stop it leaves me low,
One day I might O/D.
Oh doctor, give me something fast,
But not the pink pills, I won’t last...
As a Brufen junkie.

As a Brufen junkie....

(Fade).

 


I’m Weird

 

I’m weird,
Different from you,
I’m weird
In the things I do.
Drugs don’t turn me on,
Nor alcohol.
But I’m no sonofagun,
I just like to rock ’n’ roll.

I’m weird,
As weird as her,
But I fear
We can’t concur,
Cos she’s insane,
Of a different strain,
She likes nothing better than to cause men pain;
I’m weird,
And she’s weird,
But we can’t be weird together.

She’s weird,
But in an evil way,
She sneers
At everything I say.
She got the hellcat fever,
She’s out of control;
I was a true believer,
But she got no soul.

She’s weird,
She got a vicious tongue,
I persevered,
But all I got was stung,
It’s a cryin’ shame,
She won’t play the game,
But she’s only got herself to blame.
She’s weird,
And I’m weird,
But we can’t be weird together.

 


ITMA Variations Improvisation Number One

 

This sounds surprisingly good considering the conditions under which it was recorded, although I falter a bit towards the end. I recorded quite a lot of this sort of thing; this appears to be the best of them.

Click here to download ITMA Variations Improvisation Number One.

 


ITMA Variations Improvisation Number Three

 

Or perhaps that should be No 3 – whatever.


 

Jack Knife Strut

 

Click here to download Jack Knife Strut.

 


Jane Ward’s Galliard

 

[Still lovely twenty years on.]

 

Click here to download Jane Ward’s Galliard.

 


Johnny Go Home

 

He came up to the city when a lad of barely seventeen,
Believing most naïvely in the stories he’d been told,
He marvelled at the buildings, unlike anything he’d ever seen,
The ladies were so beautiful, the streets were paved with gold.

He thought it would be easy first to find himself a rented room,
And then obtain employment in a busy factory,
But three days in the city turned his optimism into gloom,
And very soon he realised it wasn’t meant to be.

Apartments were expensive and he couldn’t get a reference,
He wound up in a hostel with a hundred other men,
And when he looked for work, although they treated him with deference,
Employers said he wasn’t qualified to work for them.

He gave up disillusioned and he drifted into vagrancy,
His pride so wounded that forevermore he’d bear the scar,
And in a while his bitterness had turned into complacency,
Which in its turn fermented in the bottom of a jar.

They found his frozen body in a doorway one December’s night,
A wino and a dosser and a victim of the cold,
The doctor said in all his years he’d never seen a sadder sight:
A man who’d pass for fifty yet was twenty-five years old.

 


Jovian Days

 

So far from the Sun,
Yet the journey’s only half begun
In the shadow of the red-eyed god.

The yellow clouds below
Hold secrets men will never know
The secrets of the red-eyed god.

Here, we float in space,
The further man has ever come
On the last frontier
We cruise the cosmic ways,
Soon we travel on
To the ringed world
But for a while
We move in the shadow of the red-eyed god,
In the splendour of our Jovian days,
Of our Jovian days.

[For the full background to and context of the above song, click here.]


Jumpin’ Cat Flash

 

Click here to download Jumpin’ Cat Flash.

 


Lachrymosa

 

Click here to download Lachrymosa.

 


Lady In The Gallery

 

Lady in the gallery,
Won’t you say you’ll marry me?
I know we’ve never met before,
But I couldn’t love you more.
You’re precious as a work of art,
Please don’t you break a stranger’s heart,
And don’t just walk out of my life,
I want you, want you,
Need you oh so bad.

What’s your name, I love you:
Won’t you hold me to your breast?
I know I’ll die if you walk away
And deny me your caress.
What’s your name, I love you:
You’re a walking symphony,
Won’t you play sweet music,
And spend your life with me?

Lady, you’re a statuette,
And I am just a silhouette,
But I’ll be your marionette,
All you have to do is pull my wires.
There’s nothing I won’t do for you,
Please won’t you learn to love me too?
We’ve never met before, I know,
But I want you, want you, want you,
Need you so.

What’s your name, I love you:
Won’t you hold me to your breast?
I know I’ll die if you walk away
And deny me your caress.
What’s your name, I love you:
You’re a walking symphony,
Won’t you play sweet music,
And spend your life with me?

Lady, when you smile at me
You send me into ecstasy,
You’re more than a Mona Lisa
And a Venus made of stone.
Lady, won’t you come my way?
I have so many things to say,
You’re a real live angel carved out of flesh and bone,
And I want you, want you, want you,
Need you so.

What’s your name? I love you:
Let me take you in my arms,
Let me drown in your laughter, sunbathe in your smile;
What’s your name? I love you:
We’ll take it nice and slow,
But lady, won’t you stay a little while?

What’s your name? I love you...

(Repeat to fade).

 


Lady In The Tower

 

Lady in the tower,
Wasting every hour,
Sitting all alone,
Why don’t you call me on the phone?
Lady in the tower,
Life needn’t be so sour,
I could be so good to you
If you’d only ask me to.

There’s a whole wide world outside your room,
But you have to leave behind your gloom,
And walk out in the Sun,
That’s something that you’ve never done,
There’s a whole life out there to embrace,
But if you’ve not the will to face it,
There’s nothing I can do,
I can’t get through to you.

Lady in the tower,
You have it in your power
To break the witch’s spell,
Let me be your wishing well,
Oh Lady in the tower,
Please don’t you fade away.

Sweet Lady in the tower,
Please don’t you fade away,
No, don’t you fade away.

[A real sad case, but I’m glad she didn’t return my call. I wrote some music to the above with the help of Mrs Jeffries but for technical reasons it has not been included here.]

 


Lady Lazarus

 

Crazy Lady,
So many ghosts inside your head,
You’re so confused
In your twilight muse
That your sanity has fled.

Ten years more have gone by
And now the ritual again
Must be seen through,
Time to
Relive the pain.

Crazy lady,
Are you fire, or are you ice?
Or are you a vamp,
And a gypsy tramp,
Or a little girl sugar and spice?

O Sylvia I try,
But I may never understand
Your mad as a hatter’s world Alice in Wonderland.

Crazy lady,
Now is the time to be reborn,
I see you standing white as a linen sheet
In the winter trees at dawn.

Your Daddy is gone but you will chase
His spectre till the last
Until your own life to the gassing room is cast.

Crazy lady,
Are you really gonna do it in the end?
Or are you just a pose
And a plastic rose,
A well refined pretend?

O Sylvia I tried,
But I could never understand
Your mad as a hatter’s world Alice in Wonderland.

Crazy lady,
I guess it really wasn’t just a game,
Though I thought you lied
Still the Phoenix died,
Now there’s no one left to blame.

You left us your enigma,
And you left your printed word,
But though the rhymes are spoken,
Are their meanings ever heard?

Crazy lady,
Are you fire, or are you ice?
Or are you a vamp,
And a gypsy tramp,
Or a little girl sugar and spice?

O Sylvia I try,
But I may never understand
Your mad as a hatter’s world Alice in Wonderland.

Crazy lady,
Were you fire, or were you ice?
Or were you a vamp,
And a gypsy tramp,
Or a little girl sugar and spice?

O Sylvia we tried,
But we could never understand
Your mad as a hatter’s world Alice in Wonderland.

[Objectively speaking, I think this is a lot stronger than Ralph McTell’s Sylvia; I did manage to set it to music partially when I wrote it way back c1986, but it needed quite a bit of work doing on it, and I never quite got round to it. It was in G Major – that’s about all I can remember at this distance – June 23, 2010.]

 


Lady Of The Shroud

 

She comes to me at midnight,
My lady, my lady,
They say she is a vampire, but not
My lady,
My lady of the shroud.

Her kiss is warm and tender,
My lady, my lady,
And she will be my lover,
My lady, my lady of the shroud.
My lady of the shroud.

Don’t want, don’t need nobody else,
Just want my lady to myself,
My lady, my lady,
Just gonna take my love away
Ahd live with her rest of my days,
My lady, my lady of the shroud.

[For the full background to and context of the above song, click here.]

 


Lament

 

You’re so lovely, you’re so lovely,
So wonderful, so wonderful,
You’re so precious, so delicious,
So beautiful, so beautiful,
I wish that you were mine,
Please say that you’ll be mine.

I desire you, I desire you,
Please stay with me, please stay with me.
I desire you, I desire you,
Please lay with me, please lay with me,
And love me too, my love,
Please love me too, my love.

I have hurt you, I have hurt you.
Forgive me, please, forgive me please,
I hate hurt you, didn’t mean to,
Don’t leave me, please, don’t leave me, please.
Or I will surely die.
I’ll fade away and die.

She has left me, she has left me,
My love has gone, my love has gone.
She has left me, gone forever,
My love has gone, I can’t go on.
Now I will surely die,
I’ll fade away and die.

You’re so lovely, you’re so lovely,
So wonderful, so wonderful,
You’re so precious, so delicious,
So beautiful, so beautiful,
And once you were mine,
Yes, once you were mine.

[Eat your heart out, John Dowland.]

 


Little Dance

 

Click here to download Little Dance.

 


Life Goes On

 

Looking back into the past,
Even though the die is cast,
I can clearly see where I went wrong,
Nothing’s quite what it appears,
How I spent those fruitless years,
Looking for a place where I’d belong,
But life goes on,
Life goes on,
Life goes on,
Life goes on.

Thinking back to ’eighty-one,
All the things I could have done,
Had the chance to make a better life,
After that in ’eighty-two,
Had a chance again with you,
Now the emptiness cuts like a knife,
But life goes on,
Life goes on,
Life goes on,
Life goes on.

Maybe further down the line,
Everything’ll work out fine,
Can’t afford to waste another day,
Gotta work hard to get back,
On the right side of the track,
If it can be done, I’ll find a way,
And life goes on,
Life goes on,
Life goes on,
Life goes on.

 


Love A Lady Doctor

 

I’ve got a bad case of neurosis,
Because I’m healthy as can be,
Another bitter-sweet prognosis
Is I can’t see my GP.
They tell me that she’s busy,
And she won’t be treatin’ me,
But I can’t help, can’t help lovin’ a lady doctor.

I went to see the chief physician,
He told me it was in my head,
He gave me such scorn and derision
That I almost wished him dead,
But when I felt her stethescope
Upon my chest, it gave me hope,
And I can’t help, can’t help lovin’ a lady doctor.

She’s the only who tries to understand me,
There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than in her care,
I’d like to tell her how I feel,
And I hope my wounds don’t ever heal,
Cos if they did, I’d die of shock
That I couldn’t see my lady doc’.

She gave her diagnosis,
She said: “You’re in the clear,
You haven’t got psychosis,
But you still must come back here”,
She said: “I can see you’re depressed,
I think you’d better get undressed”.
I can’t help, can’t help lovin’ a lady doctor.
“Now please remove your tie and shirt,
And guide my hand to where it hurts.”
I can’t help, can’t help lovin’ a lady doctor.

[Ah yes, the lovely Karen. She had one Hell of a bedside manner. Dream on. And when did you ever wear a tie?]

 


Love Is Green

 

Love is green, love is green,
Love is woodland and plain,
Love is warm, balmy oceans,
Love is sweet summer rain.

Love is blue,
Love is blue,
Love is eagles on high,
Love is sails in the sunset,
A mackerel cloud sky.

Love is all living things,
Every small bird that sings,
Every fish of the river and sea,
Love is beauty and truth,
Love is wisdom and youth,
Love is God-given, wondrous and free.

Love is green,
Love is green,
Love is leaves of a tree,
Love is all that was, is,
All that ever will be.

Love is fire,
Love is ice,
Love is silver and gold,
Love is awesome like thunder,
Yet sweet to behold.

Love is everyone’s toy,
Every girl, every boy,
Love is laughter and smiles,
Love is passion and joy,
Love is born on the wing,
To both pauper and king,
Love is sunlight that sparkles on a diamond stone ring.

Love is life,
Love is life,
Love is life above all,
Love is sight to the blind,
E’en the deaf hear its call.

Love is fair,
Love is hope,
Love is green, love is blue,
Love is here all around us,
For me and for you.

[This was one of Alan’s favourites; the music is complete but the words are not. I wrote this with a particular female vocalist in mind.]

 


Man In The Moon (Shine Down On Me)

 

Man in the Moon shine down on me,
Light up the dark and set me free,
My life is full of misery,
Please take it away from me,
Man in the Moon shine down above,
Fill up the emptiness with love,
My girl and me fit hand in glove,
Please make her come back to me.

For two long years we’d been together,
And everything was fine,
Through sunny skies and inclement weather
She promised she’d be mine,
But yesterday we had our first quarrel,
She walked out of the door,
I really thought she’d be back tomorrow
But now she’s gone forevermore.

Man in the Moon shine down on me,
Light up the dark and set me free,
My life is full of misery,
Please take it away from me,
Man in the Moon shine down above,
Fill up the emptiness with love,
My girl and me fit hand in glove,
Please make her come back to me.

I didn’t think, but I must have hurt her,
I miss her oh so bad,
She knows that I’d do anything for her,
I’d never make her sad,
Please won’t you help, I’m empty without her?
I’ve got to find a way,
You know there’s something magic about her,
I love her more than words can say.

Man in the Moon shine down on me,
Light up the dark and set me free,
My life is full of misery,
Please take it away from me,
Man in the Moon shine down above,
Fill up the emptiness with love,
My girl and me fit hand in glove,
Please make her come back to me.

 


Me And Ted Bundy

 

I came into this world in August 1956,
I never done no man or woman harm to get my kicks,
But first day that I went to school they had it in for me,
And thirty years and more I lived in Hell and misery.
I always was a sickly child right from the very start,
But I had goodness as well as a murmur in my heart.
I yearned for wealth and happiness, wished these for others too,
But neither came to pass, a poor man’s dream was all I knew.
At school I was a forward kid like others who were smart,
But they found love and friendship while my soul was torn apart,
For every time I stumbled, they laughed heartily and long,
Come twelfth grade and I’d had enough, I told them I was done.

Come seventeen and I was leaving home,
Come nineteen and the seeds of rot were sown,
And I knew then no matter what I said, where I was blown
That a man who is so much reviled forever sleeps alone.

Without a friend in London and embittered my heart grew,
I fantasised about the girlfriend that I never knew,
While ugly and uncultured men, more so than I got laid,
Into the West End haunts of pimps and prostitutes I strayed.
But something turned me off about the slags I paid to score,
And though I parted with my cash, I never fucked a whore.

Inside I had the feeling
There was something obscene,
Repulsive and demeaning
About them, and unclean,
And in my youthful folly interpreted this to mean
That a man who never has a woman know
Must live his life an outcast, and forever sleep alone.

Meanwhile, five thousand miles away, more wretched far than me
Ted Bundy in a frenzy had launched on a killing spree.
They knew he’d murdered twenty-one young girls, the very least,:
Articulate, intelligent and handsome, yet a beast.
At one of his trials, Bundy groupies sat and gazed in awe,
They passed notes to him in the dock, undying love they swore,
Some really thought him innocent, but many didn’t care,
I didn’t know about him then, but if I had been there

I know that not a woman in the gallery
Would hesitate if asked to choose ’twixt him and me,
A girl would rather by a fiend be known,
Than a man who is an outcast and forever sleeps alone.

Ten years and more went by, and Bundy languished on Death Row,
While I found love in eighty-two I thought I’d never know,
She didn’t know quite what I was, and neither did she care,
But she came to me much too late to ease my soul’s despair.
For in a while I blew her mind, now I’m alone again
These seven years, and I guess that’s the way that I’ll remain,
For some men get no second chance if they let slip the one,
I threw her precious love away, now she’s forever gone.
In all this time, Ted Bundy sat inside a US gaol,
Love letters and proposals brought to him with every mail,
Till January 24th in 1989
His final plea rejected, he at last ran out of time,
And though a cheer rang up outside the prison as he fried
There still were many women wept that such a fiend had died.

Though Bundy’s gone to burn in Hell for all eternity
It’s not the thought of what he did that really sickens me,
But knowing that if somehow he had risen from the dead,
There’s not a woman in this world would sleep with me instead.

[Although I was in a really low place when I wrote this, it was not inspired initially by personal experience. Around 1975 I saw an Irishman busking in the subway complex at Marble Arch. I remember he was using a carpo, and playing very fast, finger picking. Most buskers, certainly most guitarists, are total crap, but this bloke was very good, I remember I saw him again sometime later playing an instrumental piece.

At Marble Arch he was performing a song about a character Lord Arnold, who caught his wife in flagrante delicto, slew her lover, then asked her to choose between them. She chose the dead man, at which he killed her too, and threw her body on top of his.

I learned years later that this is a traditional song which as usual has different variations, but it is known principally as Matty Groves. Over the years I’ve met some far sadder cases than me, including one or two guys who’ve never had girlfriends. It’s only at this distance I realise that like me they’ve missed nothing. Men may become serial killers, but only women marry them. I think I got it about right with Adam’s Rib.]

 


Melancholy

 

Click here to download Melancholy.

 


Melancholy Lady

 

This is a guitar instrumental composed and played (very badly) by Yours Truly.

I can’t remember when I wrote this but it was probably between 1987 and 1992. At 1 minute 19 seconds of this archived version you can hear me say “F”, which is presumably a reference to the chord. At this distance all I can remember about F is that it is a barre chord, the first I learned from my guitar tutor Keith at Spring Grove, Isleworth, more years ago than I care to remember.

The F was edited out and the file re-uploaded on July 26, 2024.

Click here to download Melancholy Lady.

 


Merle

 

Merle,
You are the siren of the dawn,
The precious black pearl of songful joy
On my dewy lawn.

Merle,
How sweetly do you sing,
How the tidings that you bring
Warm the heart of every man.

And in the twilight hours,
You seek your leafy bowers
Cackling like a hen
As you spring from branch to branch.

Truly thou art wonderful,
More than simply magical,
What hand could frame thy lustrous plume
Or lure thy throat to sing?

Merle,
You are Creation’s joy,
In tune with Mother Nature,
You sing your Father’s praise.

Merle,
Would that you share that joy
With every child of the morning
Forever and always.

[I wrote the words, and I think we wrote the music together. Alan arranged, of course, although there are no chords here, I can’t remember why. The atheist and Jehovah’s Witness argued over many things, but one subject on which we had no disagreement whatsoever was the wonder of Creation. The sheet music as written out here (by me) is a long way from being playable!]

 


Miss Harrison’s Toy

 

My own arrangement, not exactly influenced by Al Stewart’s Denise At Sixteen, but written with a similar sentiment; one of my personal favourites, simple to play and pleasing melodically. Alan liked it too. Alas, the lovely Miss Harrison...sigh.

What appears to be a slightly better recording of this track than the one offered here appeared with Paranoia on Eh?, another early tape put out by Andrew Savage. As can be seen from the cover, this tape included Paranoia.

Click here to download Miss Harrison’s Toy.

 


Money Go Round

 

Rich man got it made;
Poor man got the blues,
His clothes are old and frayed,
No powder in his fuse.

Rich man’s life is full of fun,
Poor man’s full of work,
Rich man lies out in the sun,
Poor man slaves like a jerk.

Money go round
And round and round,
It makes the world revolve.
I never had a problem in my life...
Money couldn’t solve.

Nations in the red,
Goin’ to the dogs,
The parasites have bled
It dry, no cash to oil the cogs.

The credit squeeze is on,
Prices through the roof,
You knew the problem all along,
And now you’ve got the proof.

Money go round
And round and round,
It makes the world revolve.
There’s not a problem in the world today...
Money can’t solve.

Can’t afford to buy,
Can’t afford to sell,
Can’t afford to die,
No water in the well.

Can’t afford to re-inflate,
But we can fight a war;
The Big Five fund the state –
We pay their debts forevermore.

Money go round
And round and round,
It makes the world revolve,
There’s not a problem underneath the Sun...
Money can’t solve.

 


Mr Pierrepoint

 

Always knew one day you’d go too far,
Always had that strange look in your eye,
Guess it was just a matter of time
Before you committed the ultimate crime.
Too late now for tears, so don’t you cry:
Mr Pierrepoint’s on his way.

You had so much, you had to have it all,
Lovely ladies, servants at your call,
Whatever you took, it wasn’t enough,
You went double or quits on a lunatic bluff,
You flew so high, now you’ve just six feet to fall.
Here comes Mr Pierrepoint.

It’s hard to feel sorry for you,
You never had a need,
The debutantes adored you,
But your game was lust and greed.

You crushed and killed for power,
You broke a thousand hearts,
Now you’re waiting in the tower
For the strike of nine,
Your life’s on the line,
And your world is torn apart.

Your wantonness was truly unsurpassed,
But you weren’t the first, nor will you be the last;
No matter how high the privileged rise
Their wallets are always too small for their eyes;
Avarice is the trademark of your caste –
That’s why you’ll meet Mr Pierrepoint.

It’s all over now, your time has nearly passed:
Here comes Mr Pierrepoint.

Hold your head high as the sands run from the glass,
And face Mr Pierrepoint.

 


Mr Wrong

 

This is a JPG scan of the Alan Barber arrangement with the first verse only; I can’t find the rest of the song at the moment. The inspiration was a short story by Elizabeth Jane Howard.

 


Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

 

I saw her walking across the park,
And moved towards her like a killer shark:
Hey baby, won’t you give me your number, won’t you tell me your name?
She took one sideways look at me,
And if looks could kill, stone dead I’d be;
I stood there open-mouthed and nearly died of shame.
But though she walked right on and she passed me by
I didn’t have the time to stand and cry,
And if you ask, I’ll tell you the reason why...

Nothing ventured, nothing gained,
Nothing won nor ascertained
If you don’t take a chance on romance every now and again.
Nothing wagered, nothing lost,
But in the end you’ll count the cost,
And until the day you die, all alone you’ll remain.

I saw her standing in a crowded room,
She was as fine as any rose of June,
Hey honey, why don’t you an’ me go get away from the crowd,
Her face grew angry, silent red,
And I was filled with a sudden dread
And raised her voice, and started screaming aloud,
And so I turned away, walked out the door,
And I’ve not been back there any more,
But if you don’t ask, you’ll never know the score.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained,
Nothing won nor ascertained
If you don’t take a chance on romance every now and again.
Nothing wagered, nothing lost,
But in the end you’ll count the cost,
And until the day you die, all alone you’ll remain.

I saw her standing in the launderette,
Went up and asked her for a cigarette,
Hey darlin’, I really dig your style;
The girl went red in a crimson flush,
But then her anger became a blush,
She gave me a frown,
And then the ghost of a smile.

I said I like your long, blonde hair, my dear,
And as I finished talking she came real near,
And whispered something wonderful in my ear...

Nothing ventured, nothing gained,
Nothing won nor ascertained
If you don’t take a chance on romance every now and again.
Nothing wagered, nothing lost,
But in the end you’ll count the cost,
And until the day you die, all alone you’ll remain.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained...

(Repeat to fade).

[More poetic licence; the blonde in the launderette stood me up.]

Click here to download the demo version of Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained.

 


Pamela Jean

 

Click here to download Pamela Jean.

 


Paranoia

 

It happens when you’re doin’
Something you shouldn’t do,
You get a terrifying feelin’
That everybody’s watchin’ you.
They’re underneath the bed, the walls have ears,
They’re hiding in the cupboard ’neath the stairs,
They’re tapping your phone,
You’re never alone,
You laugh, you know it’s crazy but it chills you to the bone.

There’s people at the station,
Hanging round on corners who should not be there,
While at your destination
Is a man you’ve seen before,
Except you can’t think where,
But is it them or is it you?
You try to rationalise,
Coincidence it has to be,
There’s nothing you can do,
So you’d best not fantasise,
It isn’t a conspiracy.

It’s paranoia,
It’s all inside your head,
Paranoia:
Like the doctor said,
Paranoia:
Strangers lurking in the foyer...
Everybody’s watching you.
Paranoia
Is gonna twist your brain,
Paranoia:
Your going half insane,
Paranoia:
When you’re cheating your employer...
Everybody’s watchin’ you.

You’ve made a reservation
For a midnight assignation
With a girl you’ve just met
Your lady doesn’t know,
Or so
You think, till in the moonlight there’s a silhoeutte;
It’s sticking to the wall
And slowly creeping round the hall,
You’re thinking soon you’re gonna hear a shout,
But then the other girl appears,
You try to put aside your fears,
But deep inside you still think that’s she’s found you out.

Paranoia:
When you double cross your lover,
Paranoia:
When you tell her there’s no other,
Paranoia:
Strangers lurking in the foyer...
Everybody’s watchin’ you.

Paranoia:
Was you alibi defective?
Paranoia:
Is your neighbour a detective?
Paranoia:
When you’re cheatin’ your employer...
Everybody’s watchin’ you.

Paranoia:
When you’re lyin’ an’ you’re stealin’,
Paranoia:
It’s a terrifying feelin’,
Paranoia
Will be your sanity’s destroyer...
Everybody’s watchin’ you...

(Repeat to fade).

Click here to download the demo version of Paranoia.

 


Permafrost

 

Permafrost behind,
Now I’m on the ice,
Deep into the frozen North I ride;
There’s no peace of mind
For this lonely man,
Not since his loss of brother, friend and bride.

Curséd be the name of Frankenstein,
What have I unleased on the world?
When will the nightmare end for this lonely man?
Curséd be the name of Frankenstein,
Creator of a fiend so vile,
The wretchedest being on Earth since time began.

Soon I will be there
Where he’ll wait for me,
The final showdown,
One or both must die,
Still he lures me on,
To the great beyond;
God in Heaven, hear this sinner’s cry.

Curséd be the name of Frankenstein,
What have I unleased on the world?
When will the nightmare end for this lonely man?
Curséd be the name of Frankenstein,
Creator of a fiend so vile,
The wretchedest being on Earth since time began.

Curséd be the name of Frankenstein,
What have I unleased on the world?
When will the nightmare end for this lonely man?
Curséd be the name of Frankenstein,
Creator of a fiend so vile,
The wretchedest being on Earth since time began.

(Fade)

[For the full background to and context of the above song, click here.]

 


Peroxide Blonde

 

She’s dressed to thrill,
Killer without a cause,
Her blood is chill,
The temptress of the Moors,
Peroxide blonde,
Lady vagabond,
She waves a magic wand,
And leaves me spellbound.
She has me spellbound.

She knows no shame,
There’s defiance in her eyes,
She plays a lethal game,
She’s the one they all despise

She dresses like a slut,
And all the ladies tut,
I want to hate her, but...
She leaves me spellbound.
She has me spellbound.

I know her name,
And I know just where she’s at,
She has a wicked fame,
And she’d trample me like a man,
But I’m obsessed by her,
And not distressed by her,
Cos when I hear her purr,
She leaves me spellbound.
She has me spellbound.

[No, this does not mean quite what you think, but it would take too long to explain.]

 


Poison

 

I met you at the station,
My cool, refined blind date,
You came with hesitation,
But one thing couldn’t wait.

That was your first impression,
You said: You fail my test.
I read in your expression:
You only take the best.

I coulda fell for you,
Petite with eyes of blue,
But girl, what did you do?
You made me feel like poison.

I went to her apartment,
She was alone and blue;
She didn’t know what love meant,
She just sat in her room.

She was a wretched creature,
She never had a friend,
I tried but couldn’t reach her,
And I knew in the end

That we would come to naught,
It wasn’t me she sought,
And I was left distraught:
She made me feel like poison.

I meet them in the city,
I talk to them in town,
I’m not a Walter Mitty,
But still they put me down.

They turn away with laughter,
Or glare at me in hate,
For now and ever after
I guess this is my fate:

To be rejected by
(However hard I try)
All womankind, guess I...

Really must be poison.

It happens all the time,
I wonder what’s my crime,
I guess it’s just that I’m...

Really, really poison.

Am I the only one?
Please tell me what I’ve done,
Why do they hate and shun me?

I can’t believe I’m poison,
Why do I feel like poison?
They make me feel like poison;
Please tell me I’m not poison.

 


Rhapsody In Blue

 

Play it, Sam,
Play it again,
The sunshine’s gone from out of mah life,
Now here comes the rain;
Play it, Sam,
One more refrain,
Of that rhapsody in blue, for me.

One more, Joe,
One more for the road,
I’ve got a long, long way to go,
And heavy is mah load,
One more, Joe,
For mah life has been bestowed
With a lachrymosal misery.

I can’t take anymore,
An’ I’m feelin’ so sore
That mah hair is turning grey,
And I almost could drown
In the tears of a clown
Since mah baby went away.

And there’s naught I can do
Cos she’s found someone new
So I’m asking you to play
That rhapsody in blue, for me.

Play it, Sam,
Play it again,
The sunshine’s gone from out of mah life,
Now here comes the rain;
Play it, Sam,
One more refrain,
Of that rhapsody in blue, for me.

That rhapsody in blue, for me.

 


Room At The Top

 

Click here to download Room At The Top.

 


Root Of All Evil

 

I sit inside my palace,
And I couldn’t give a damn
For the working class,
They can kiss my arse:
I am the banker man.

I make my loans with malice
To merchants and to kings,
And neither dare give me offence
For fear I’ll call them in.

I sit inside my palace,
Give orders to the state,
You’re in my debt
I’ll make you sweat,
My pen decides your fate.

Mine is the world of Alice,
A land of make believe,
But it’s part of the deal
That you think it’s real
And so do I deceive.

I am the banker man,
My power is supreme
With a wave of my pen
I make/break men,
Start a nightmare, end a dream.

I am the banker man,
I rule by lies and stealth;
You pay me compound interest,
And I usurp your wealth.

The deficit is growing,
And someone has to pay,
Or my credit stops
And the dollar drops:
Uncle Sam has feet of clay.

The people’s belts must tighten,
But no one questions why;
When I tell the politicians: Jump!
They say to me: How high?

For centuries I’ve financed
A profitable cause
In every corner of the globe:
Pursuit of winless wars.

I agitate for peasants
To liberate their land;
When the winds of change
Blow cruel and strange
They never understand.

I am the banker man:
I secretly command;
There’s no chance to the world’s despair,
It’s all the way I planned.

I’m honoured and respected,
I give to charity.
But if I have to bounce your cheque
I’ll charge a hefty fee.

You work until your fingers
Are tender to the bone;
I write a figure in my book
And cancel all you own.

Thee’s nobody can tame me,
I’m out of all control;
Dictatorship by finance
Of the planet is my goal.

Some say I am the puppet
Of emperors and kings,
But he who pays the piper
Calls the tune and pulls the strings.

I am the banker man:
My power is supreme,
With a wave of my pen
I make/break men,
Start a nightmare, end a dream.

I am the banker man:
Mine is the hidden hand,
You build my castles in the air,
And build your own on sand.

I am the banker man,
I rule by lies and stealth;
You pay my compound interest,
And I usurp your wealth.

I am the banker man:
I secretly command,
There’s no chance to the world’s despair:
It’ all the way I planned.

There’s no chance to the world’s despair:
It’ all the way I planned.

 


Run Wild, Run Free

 

Run wild, run free, you foolish young things,
Don’t plan for tomorrow, don’t care what it brings.

Run wild, run free, you haven’t a care,
As long as you feel the cool breeze in your hair.

Your fathers, grandfathers, ancestors before
Never cared to conserve their unlimited store,

So you inherit a world that will soon
Be barren and lifeless and void as the Moon.

Take fish as you like in a great quantity
From that inexhaustible puddle the sea.

Shoot wildlife and cut down a jungle of trees,
You’ve only your comfort and wallets to please.

Pump sulphur dioxide and all sorts of waste
Direct to the atmosphere in a great haste.

Your atom and hydrogen bombs do explode,
Each one a more powerful, dangerous load.

Run wild, run free, you foolish young things,
Don’t plan for tomorrow, don’t care what it brings.

Run wild, run free, you haven’t a care,
As long as you feel the cool breeze in your hair.

Don’t bother conserving, that’s too much employ,
It’s always far better to use and destroy,

Pollution may poison the air and the sea,
But what do you care about that? C’est la vie!

Run wild, run free, you foolish young things,
Don’t plan for tomorrow, don’t care what it brings.

Run wild, run free, and enjoy while you can
The fruits of your follies: irredeemable Man.

[I’d be the first to admit this is a bit weak, lyrically, but it’s the thought that counts.]

 


Seasons Change

 

Seasons change,
So do I,
So does the way I feel for you,
The time has come to say goodbye
And move along to pastures new.

Seasons change,
So do we,
We’re different people two years on,
Now there’s contempt and jealousy
Where once was love, a love that’s gone.

Seasons change,
So do you,
You don’t enthrall me anymore,
The time has come to say adieu
And set sail for a different shore.

Seasons change,
I’m sorry, babe,
There’s nothing more that I can say,
I’m grateful for the love you gave,
But now we two
Must go our separate ways.

 


Shadow (Of A Man)

 

Shadow of a man,
Shadow of a man,
Shadow of a man,
Shadow of a man.

He had the gift, and he had to choose
Between his talent and indulgence, and he chose the booze,
A prima donna who was born to lose,
He hit the bottom,
There was no stopping him.

A shadow of a man,
Now he’s a shadow of a man,
He had the world at his feet
And wound up walking the street,
Just another loser in the game.

Shadow of a man,
Shadow of a man.

Now when he wakes up in the morning
And he sees his face
Reflected in the mirror,
It’s such disgrace,
Sometimes he feels like
An outsider to the human race,
He’s gone to pot,
And all he’s got
Is another empty bottle.

Shadow of a man,
Shadow of a man.

He had a wife and a house and car,
And everybody said he’s gonna be a star,
But in the end he didn’t get much farther
Than the bottom of a bottle...

Shadow of a man,
He’s just a shadow of a man.
He had the world at his feet
And wound up walking the street,
Just another loser in the...

Shadow of a man

Just another loser in the...

Shadow of a man

Just another loser in the game.

[The above was written about a well-known soccer player. People who know the not-so-beautiful game will have no trouble discerning who.]

 


Sex An’ Drugs An’ Snooker

 

You see them on the your silver screen,
They wear suits, the’yre polite and clean,
But what goes on behind the scene?
Sex an’ drugs an’ snooker!

It isn’t just a few big stars
Who get involved in brawls in bars,
And get black eyes, they’ve all got scars: Sex an’ drugs an’ snooker!

Poor Alex always takes the rap,
But he can be a pain,
And Kirk’s a very pleasant chap
Although he snorts cocaine.

There’s Tony Knowles, he does enjoy
The girls; there’s White the wonderboy,
And old Ray Reardon’s not so coy:
Sex an’ drugs an’ snooker!

Steve Interesting Davies
Can be so very boring,
And Dennis Taylor’s very nice
Except he can’t stop jawing.

But what goes on in hotel beds
When Thorburn’s potted all the reds?
“We all get stoned out of our heads!” – ice chorus (ditto refrain)
Sex an’drugs an’ snooker!

You’re Chairman of the W.P.B.S.A. aren’t you, Rex?
But though you disapprove of drugs...
“I’m very fond of sex!”

Young Tony Drago’s right on cue,
While Willie Thorne says “Yes, it’s true
That bald men use a deeper screw!”
Sex an’ drugs an’ snooker!

Silvino, is it true you grassed Kirk Stevens up?
“Oh yes!”
No wonder you South Africans get such an awful press.

Len Ganley says “Let’s keep it clean”.
While Alex says "What do you mean?"
“I mean, you cunt, don’t be obscene!”
Sex an’ drugs an’ snooker!
Sex an’ drugs an’ snooker!

 


She’s Woman

 

Her hair is as fine
As fine can be,
Her body divine,
So is she,
She means all the world
To him, you and me,
She’s feminine, sensuous, woman.

She’s four foot eleven,
And six foot three tall,
She’s white, black, brown, yellow,
A queen and a thrall,
She’ll teach you to fly,
And she’ll force you to crawl,
She’s feminine, sensuous, woman.

Oh,
The stars rise and set in her eyes,
Oh,
She beguiles you by mixing the truth with her lies.

She’ll wound and she’ll hurt you
Till you cry and you bleed,
You’ll see all the warning signs,
But you’ll not heed
The pitfalls and dangers
Because you so need
This temptress, seductress and woman.

Oh,
She’ll charm her way into your bed,
Oh,
She’ll capture your heart,
And she’ll screw up your head.

You can’t live without her,
But what can you do?
You can’t live with her either,
So both ways you lose,
For whichever you choose
You end up with the blues
Such is this enigma called woman.

Yes, whichever you choose
You end up with the blues
Such is the enigma of woman.

 


Show Me The Answer

 

Give me a vision,
Show me the way,
Give me a reason,
Let me know what to say.

Lead me from the darkness
And the doubt of night,
Never, never desert me,
Don’t take away the light.

Give me an omen,
Give me a sign,
Destroy my illusions,
But don’t leave me blind.

In my darkest hour
Don’t let me walk alone,
Take my hand and guide me
Through the great unknown...
Show me the answer.

Give me a moment,
Give me a chance,
A path to improvement,
A way to advance.

Let me draw closer
To where you’re burning bright,
I want to feel your power,
Want to stay in the light.

Remove my pretentions,
I don’t need them no more,
And my inhibitions,
What do I want them for?

If there is a meaning
Let me see it clear,
If there isn’t, I still must know,
I will have no fear
If you show me the answer.

 


Shelly Girl

 

Not sure how she spelt her name exactly; I’ve got the sheet music somewhere.

Click here to download Shelly Girl.

 


Sign Of The Times

 

Ridin’ ’ome on the Underground
I got mugged by a gang of kids,
Not ten years old
But they rolled
Me over, an’ left me on the skids,
Me Grandmuvver’s always complainin’
About the ’ooligans down our end,
But me Dad says t’ Muvver
That it ain’t no trend,
It’s just a sign...
A sign of the times.

I got me a job in a shoe shop,
I bought me a three piece suit,
Me suit got nicked,
An’ the company kicked
By the VAT, so I got the boot.
Me grandfarver’s always complainin’
That ’is pension money ain’t enough,
But me old man tells ’im things ain’t gettin’ any rough’
Er, it’s a sign...
A sign of the times.

Well it costs so much money
That it ain’t at all funny
Just t’ put some air in me tyres,
While the geezer at the station
Says ’e blames it on inflation
An’ the Chancellor’s desires;
An’ the rich are gettin’ richer,
An’ the poor are gettin’ poorer,
As the National Debt acquires
Really staggerin’ proportions
With the interest extortions
Of the banks...
It’s just a sign of the times.
I got me a sister called Caroline,
An’ a right little raver is she,
She lives in a hurry,
An’ me Mum’s always worry-
In’ about what she’s gonna be;
She says she wants to work as a topless model,
It’s a doddle,
An’ it pays real good,
While me Muvver says: No!
But me Dad says: Jo,
It’s just a sign...
A sign of the times.

Well I get up in the mornin’
An’ before I’ve finished yawnin’
There’s me spaniel lickin’ at me face,
’E’s a faithful little nipper,
’Cept he’s gone an’ chewed me slipper,
An’ it’s all about the place,
An’ I need to earn a bob,

So I find another job,
Though I hate this rodent race,
But me Dad says though it’s rainin’
There’s no use in you complainin’,
It’s a sign...
It’s just a sign of the times,
Yeah, just a sign of the times,
It’s just a sign of the times,
A sign of the times,
A sign of the times,
A sign of the times...

(Fade)

[Where are you, Chas & Dave?]

 


Spectre Of The Brocken

 

Like an optical illusion
Or a shadow in the snow.
I see his face in every crowd
Wherever I may go;
Though he has no tomorrow
He’s always on my mind:
The broken man the whole world left behind.

The Spectre Of The Brocken
To no one else appears,
He cries out in the darkness
But his pleas fall on deaf ears;
The whole world have forgotten,
To his suffering they’re blind,
But The Spectre Of The Brocken
Is always on my mind.

His suicidal mission
To this unheeding shore,
Condemned him to a living Hell
For then and evermore;
He looked for peace and friendship,
But neither did he find,
Now The Spectre Of The Brocken
Rests uneasy on my mind.

The empty words of Churchill,
His talk of liberty,
Are now exposed for what they were:
The basest perfidy;
The talk of crushing tyrants,
Who would enslave us all,
Was naught but propaganda
To keep alive the War.

For all the countless millions
Who died in World War Two,
For different reasons
From those they thought they knew,
For one old man in Spandau,
And all of human kind,
Now The Spectre Of The Brocken
Rests uneasy on my mind.

The Spectre Of The Brocken
To no one else appears,
He cries out in the darkness
But his pleas fall on deaf ears;
The whole world have forgotten,
To his suffering they’re blind,
But The Spectre Of The Brocken
Will be forever on my mind.

 


Strange World

 

When I was just a boy of ten
They said: Crime doesn’t pay;
Be truthful, honouring all men,
And never go astray.

I took them at their word,
That never got me anywhere,
I’d been out in the world
Some years before I grew aware

That crime pays rather well,
And lies serve most men good,
As long as crime’s within the law
And lies aren’t understood.

I read about a man
Said he was crazy for his wife,
He told the judge he loved her so,
That’s why he took her life.

I read about another man
So loved his countrymen,
And so desired their freedom
That he maimed and murdered them.

There’s something like this happens
Everywhere I look or go,
The more I learn about this life,
The less I really know.

I turned on my TV one night
And had to shield my eyes,
I saw so many con men
Tell the world a pack of lies.

I saw my heroes libelled
And heard politicians speak,
They said to those who kill our sons
To turn the other cheek.

It may be that I’m foolish,
It may be that I’m slow,
But I believed in justice once,
Wherever did it go?

I met a man who wanted peace,
And friendship for us all,
Fair shares for working folk,
Emancipation for the thrawl.

Another man stood up and called
For justice for his race,
The first man, though his brother,
Punched the second in the face.

It may be that I’m stupid,
It may be that I’m blind,
But the more I learn,
The less I understand the human mind.

One night in a casino
I watched someone play roulette,
He dropped my monthly salary
With every losing bet.

He tipped the doorman with a ten,
Rode back to his hotel,
He’d thrown away a hundred grand,
And though life was just swell.

The bread he lost was his,
No one persuaded him to play,
I have no right to criticise
His throwing it away.

But if I live a hundred years,
Of one thing I’ll be sure,
Whatever purpose it may have,
That’s not what money’s for.

A peasant farmer gives his lifeblood
To the land he tills,
He mortgages his livelihood
To pay his daily bills.

His creditor sits at his desk,
And with a stroke of ink
Adds thousands to the poor man’s debts,
It makes me stop and think

That if there is a God above
This can’t be what he planned;
The more I learn about this world,
The less I understand.

Most everywhere I read or look,
Newspapers or TV,
There’s someone praising those
Responsible for misery.

Usurpers of the people’s wealth
And murderers win fame,
While he who tried to save us,
Reviléd is his name.

I don’t believe in Jesus,
I don’t believe in Love,
And sometimes I have doubts
That there is still a God above.

For if there is a God above,
This can’t be what he planned;
The more I learn about this life,
The less I understand.

 


Sunset Theme

 

Click here to download Sunset Theme.

 


Sunshine

 

Little girl been sitting in the shade too long,
Time to come out of the shadows
And start walking in the sunshine, sunshine.
So you made a big mistake, well, we’ve all been wrong,
But the world will keep on turning,
So come out into the sunshine, sunshine.

There’s no sense you crying now your lover’s gone away,
You’ll soon find another when you go out
Walking in the sunshine, sunshine.
Dry your eyes, young woman, and start living for the day,
Life’s too precious to be wasted,
So come out into the sunshine, sunshine.

There is no reason,
There is no rhyme,
So stop your crying,
And don’t waste no more time.
We’ve all been unhappy.
I know he hurt you bad,
But that was yesterday,
Your wounds will heel, so don’t be sad.

Little girl, I see a smile come to your face,
You look so much lovelier now you’re out
In the sunshine, sunshine.
So put the heartache behind you,
Get back in the race,
You’ve no time for sorrow,
Now you’re living in the sunshine, sunshine.

 


Swallows In September

 

Now Winter’s dawning, comes the snow,
But everywhere I see or go
I cannot force myself not to remember
The day they gathered ’neath the eaves
As slowly fell the Autumn leaves:
I can’t forget the swallows in September.

I thought our love would never die,
Nor that we’d ever say goodbye,
I hoped that we would always be together,
But now I find that you’re untrue,
It leaves me feeling sad and blue
To think that what we had is gone forever.

We came together in the Spring,
And I knew you were everything,
The one and only girl I ever wanted,
The Harvest Moon shone down above
As you declared to me your love,
Now by these tender memories I’m haunted.

It seems like only yesterday
Your father said you’d gone away
To Gretna Green where you had wed another.
And now I’m sitting in my chair,
My heart is broken with despair
To think our everlasting love is over.

We lay together in your bed,
Then suddenly you raised your head
And stared across the rooftops at the swallows.
You said: “They’ll soon be leaving here”,
And then you shed a silent tear,
How could I know that you were soon to follow?

Now Winter’s dawning, comes the snow,
But everywhere I see or go
I cannot force myself not to remember
The day they gathered ’neath the eaves
As slowly fell the Autumn leaves:
I can’t forget the swallows in September.

I can’t forget the swallows in September.

 


The Alien

 

Stranger at the party,
Walk into the room,
Jungle music stings my ears,
Choke on reefer fumes.

Young girl throws her arms around me,
Tells me: You’re the star.
But I feel like a man from,
I feel like a man from Mars.

Everybody talkin’,
Passin’ round the drink,
I jus sit there gawkin’
At the lady who gives me a wink.

Says: I really like you;
Not been here before?
Baby, I won’t bite you,
Whatchoo say we score?

Can’t refuse her offer,
Take her home to bed,
Can’t forget quite either
Something that she said,

You’re not like the other guys
I pick up in these bars,
You act like a man from,
And love like a man from Mars.

Every time I come to these places
I see people turnin’ on,
Can’t understand the looks on their faces
When they see me drink alone.

This is what they call havin’ a good time,
Never could see the point,
Quarter of an hour an’ I’m makin’ a beeline
Anywhere out of the joint.

Went to another party,
Year on to the day,
Blew out all the candles
Then turned and walked away.

As I left the building
Heard the guy who parked the crs
Say: Looks like he’s leavin’
The one they call the man from Mars.

 


The Brixton Rap

 

Hey brooder, the pigs are on the streets,
An’ poundin’ their community beats;
They say this is the way it’s gonna be
Now they can’t send in the SPG:
Do The Brixton Rap:
Don’t take no crap
From no SDP or no Tory sap;
Do The Brixton Rap:
Tell Maggie an’ Neal
We gettin’ too much hassle from Mr Peel.

Hey brooder, dey say we sellin’ drugs,
An’ they treat us black folk like we’re mugs,
But if they come down to our frontline
We gonna give them fuzz a real hard time.
Do The Brixton Rap:
Don’t take no crap
From no SDP or no Tory sap;
Do The Brixton Rap:
An’ tell them clear
You get your asses kicked if you come round here.

Hey brooder, here they come, quick, tell the guys
Wait till you see the whites of their eyes,
Then go into the attack routine:
First the bullets, then the mortars, then the gasoline.
Do The Brixton Rap:
Don’t take no crap
From no SDP or no Tory sap;
Do The Brixton Rap:
This is our ghet-to,
Like Watts or Harlem or So-wet-o.

Do The Brixton Rap:
Don’t take no crap
From no SDP or no Tory sap;
Do The Brixton Rap:
Tell Maggie an’ Neal
We takin’ no more hassle from Mr Peel.

[Rap is of course three quarters crap; this is Al’s modest contribution, somewhat dated now.]

 


The Bunker

 

My husband, how you’ve aged and greyed these long war years,
And now your will is ailing as the moment nears
As everything we fought for, all the love that we enjoyed
Is by the servants of the dark destroyed.

My husband, how you tire, come lie with me awhile,
And rest your head upon my breast for just awhile,
And let us share a final kiss,
For if it has to end like this,
You will not die alone here in the bunker.

My husband, how our people praise your holy name,
The Lightning and the Sun into this world you came,
And brought a message and a hope
To Nordic hearts that couldn’t cope,
But now your dream must die here in the bunker.

Oh must your dream die with you love?
It cannot be, for God above
Would not permit such wickedness to win.
Your flesh and mine will feed the fire
But from the ashes of our pyre,
The Phoenix bird will rise and cast out sin.

So close your eyes and kiss me for the final time,
And hold your precious body tightly pressed to mine,
And love me like you used to do,
While I swear I’ll be ever true,
And we will die together in the bunker.

[The less said about this, the better!]

 


The Chestnut Waltz

 

A simple piece, as far as I recall it was written at Chestnut Avenue, circa 1980.

Click here to download The Chestnut Waltz.

 


The Creeper

 

In the dead of night
When no sound or sight
Is heard or seen,
The Creeper’s on the prowl
In the gloom
Of the hotel room.

Lady softly sleepin’,
In the morning she’ll be weepin’
Cos a stranger’s been,
And her handbag’s gone with her cash and jewels;
The Creeper stole the lot,
Took everything she’s got!

He’s the Creeper,
A shadow on the wall,
A phantom in the dark,
You’ll never hear the Creeper call.
He’s the Creeper,
And when he’s been you won’t forget
That you were once a victim
Of the Silhouette.

The businessman is out,
The vino’s clout
Was too much for him,
He;s lying on the bed,
By his head
Stands the man in black.
He’s emptying his waller,
He’s stole the fellow’s locket
From around his neck,
Gold watch and chain,
And credit card;
He’s the pain and the bane
Of Scotland Yard.

He’s the Creeper,
A shadow on the wall,
A phantom in the dark,
You’ll never hear the Creeper call.
He’s the Creeper,
And when he’s been you won’t forget
That you’re the latest victim
Of the Silhouette.

(Repeat to fade)

[I wrote this with sinister intentions, but Alan thought it was basically a fun track.]

 


The Dark Man Theme

 

This was recorded at Venner Road late 1986-92, I can’t be more specific than that; Alan said it was a canon. Whatever, I’ve always had a thing about octaves and fifths, especially when put together like this. It sounds better on the piano, and I hope one day to be able to commission a fully orchestrated arrangement.

Click here to download The Dark Man Theme.

 


The Funny Farm

 

Got up 6am on Monday,
Heard a voice inside my head
Tell me it was really Sunday,
Yawned and got back into bed.

Didn’t go to work till Tuesday,
Boss said: You’re a lazy slob;
Told me he was docking my pay,
Told him he could stuff his job.

My girlfriend said: What you gonna do?
If you ain’t got a job, I can’t marry you;
She nag, nag, nag and she whine and howl,
So I strangled her with a bathroom towel.

Left her on the kitchen table,
Didn’t know quite what to do,
Went to see my sister Mabel,
Took her for a drink or two.

Didn’t have the nerve to tell her.
Then a voice inside my ear
Said to me: Why don’t you kill her?
Sounded like a good idea.

So I walked my sister out of the bar,
And I pushed her under a speeding car,
The voice in my head will be the end of me,
When they find out what I’ve done it’ll have to be

The funny farm,
I’m going to the funny farm
Where the men in the white coats
Will lock me in a padded cell.

The funny farm,
I’m going to the funny farm;
They’ll call me a schizo and a psychopath
Cos I’d cut you into pieces for a laugh.

Didn’t make an exhibition,
No one saw my sister die,
Then I lost all inhibition,
Thought I’d have another try.

Voice told me to go one better,
Make the next a big event,
Guided me to the theatre,
Soon I knew just what it meant.

At the end of the performance of Shakespeare
I brought a new twist to the play King Lear,
While the audience applauded the leading man
I torched the place with a petrol can.

Now it’s the funny farm,
I’m going to the funny farm,
I’ve got a voice in my head tells me: Kill, kill, kill!
And although I feel fine they’ll say I’m ill.

It’s the funny farm,
I’m going to the funny farm,
I can’t understand why I act so badm
I’m a rational man; am I really mad?

The funny farm,
I’m going to the funny farm.

[I wrote this sometime after my collaboration with Alan had finished; if I recall, I sent a demo with a chord progression to Andrew; his arrangement, while significantly different from what I’d intended, captures the tone of the piece. Like much of his own early – and at times extremely zany – material, it has stood the test of time remarkably well.]

Click here to download the Andrew Savage recording of The Funny Farm.

 


The Grand Design

 

Why didn’t we,
Why couldn’t we
Have seen the Grand Design?
How can a nation be so deaf,
Or a people be so blind?

How could it have happened
That the enemy overnight
Took our land without a fight,
Sold their wrong to us as right,
And their darkness as our light?

How could we have fallen
For the lies of their machine?
And why did we not seek the truth
For a world still rich and green
Where a horseman was never seen?

We should have seen the danger signs,
We should have read between the lines,
We should have acted while we could,
We should have understood.

Now the candle is burning low
And the hour is growing late,
The forces of our Lords advance
Disguised as the Third Estate.
They scream with manic hate.
The fools can’t see their fate.

All that once was beautiful
To the Pit has been consigned,
The web of their deception
Has grown and been refined,
And all who aren’t entwined
To death have long been resigned.

How could it have happened
That the enemy overnight
Took our land without a fight,
Sold their wrong to us as right,
And their darkness as our light?

Why didn’t we,
Why couldn’t we
Have seen the Grand Design?
How can a nation be so deaf,
How can a people be so blind?

 


The Higher You Fly

 

You thought it was all so easy
To take the money and run,
But now there’s a ghost from the distant past
Come back to haunt you and spoil your fun.

Yesterday you were a mouse at play,
Now the cat has got your back to the wall.
The higher you fly:
The harder you fall.

You played us for a bunch of suckers,
Now once again the tables are turned.
Because a man who keeps putting his hand in the fire
Will end up with his fingers burned.

The slave is liberated,
The master of the house is a thrall.
The higher you fly:
The harder you fall.

You schemed the great deception,
Yours was the perfect crime,
But like the man said
You can only fall all of the people
For some of the time.

You had it coming to you,
For once your plans were laid
There was no turning back,
Now the price of greed is paid.

You weaved a web of fear and hurt,
But now the spider’s caught.
You’re gonna get your just dessert,
Your schemes have come to naught.

How are the mighty humbled,
How low those who stood tall.
The higher you fly:
The harder you fall.

(Repeat last verse).

 


The Lair Of The White Worm

 

Lady Arabella, see the hatred in your face,
Now I know the reason you despise the human race;
Lady Arabella, you’re a serpent in the darkest night,
Satan’s own creation is the woman with the evil eyes.

Lady Arabella tears a mongoose with her hands,
Hypnotises Caswell to pursue her evil plans;
Lady Arabella, you’re a harbinger of misery,
Stranger kind of woman never was, could never, ever be.

(Lengthy blues guitar solo – uptempo)

Lady Arabella drags a Negro down to Hell,
Edgar Caswell’s servant to the bottom of the well;
Lady Arabella, you’re a harbinger of misery,
Far worse than Medusa out of ancient Greek mythology.

[For the full background to and context of the above song, click here.]

 


The Magic Is Gone

 

Baby, I’d like to stay with you
Till the other side of midnight,
I’d like to lay you down and love you
Just this one more time.

I know you’d like to love me too
For an hour in the moonlight,
But we both know it would be
A pantomime.

Cos the magic is gone,
I don’t turn on
Anymore when I look into your eyes,
I don’t feel a shiver running down my spine,
And I’ve seen through your disguise.

The magic is gone,
And it would be wrong
For the two of us to still pretend
That a broken heart can ever truly mend.

[There is – or was – another verse, unfortunately...]

 


The Man Most Likely To

 

If you’re walkin’ home, and lyin’ in the mud,
You see your brother covered in blood,
His head cracked open, and his wallet gone,
Don’t you turn your back and walk straight on.

Go and tend his wounds, and help him by,
But don’t ask who did this and why,
Cos you don’t like the answer he gives to you:
The man in the mirror is the man most likely to.

If you see your sister without her dress,
Her bare arms bruised and her face a mess,
Don’t stare at her like she was a whore,
Cos that’s not what she’s asking for.

If you help her up, and you drive her home,
And they file her: Rape by man unknown,
Don’t ask the cops why they have no clue,
Cos the man in the mirror is the man most likely to.

Every day they’re lyin’ and’ they’re stealin’,
It’s every man for himself, so run for cover.

Every day, they’re killin’ one another,
It’s dog eat dog, win or die,
Brother shootin’ brother.

If you see the war live on TV,
And the newsman says to a refugee:
Your village was raised to the ground,
And no survivors could be found.

If you see the dead in an open grave
And the sight brings nightmares to the brave,
When the world asks why? You tell them who:
The man in the mirror is the man most likely to.

When the world screams why? You have no clue,
Cos the man in the mirror is the man most likely to.

 


The Spoken Word

 

Part One

The Daemon, wretched of the Earth
Still eludes me,
But there is one even more wretched:
I, Victor Frankenstein,
Creator of this abomination,
And murderer by proxy
Of my own brother,
My lifelong friend Clerval,
And my darling Elizabeth.
O heavy heart, how is it you still beat?
But I will destroy him yet,
He is but a day ahead at most.
I will have him!
He will be mine!
I will destroy this...thing
That I have created.

Part Two

September twelfth,
It is all over,
I have lost my hopes of utility and glory,
But far, far worse,
I hae lost my newfound friend;
Frankenstein is dead!
Where will I find another such as he?
O poor, unhappy man.
So terribly you suffered,
Pursuing until the end, your Daemon.
Miserable creature,
Inhuman fiend!
O poor Frankenstein,
Poor, poor Frankenstein,
But that I could have known you
Another place, another time.

[For the full background to and context of the above song, click here.]

 


The Wine Dark Sea (Leave Me To The Tundra)

 

O friend of Frankenstein,
You must despise me so,
But now the ice is breaking up.
Our own ways we must go.

My God and my Creator
Has drawn his final breath,
Now for the wretched creature
That I am, there’s only death.

You will sail to the South,
But to the North Pole I
Must flee and build my pyre,
And by my own hand die.

So turn your ship around.
And make your way back home,
And leave this fiend and murderer
To perish here alone.

O leave me to the tundra,
And sail away across the wine dark sea,
O leave me to the tundra,
And look ye not behind.

Leave me to the tundra,
And sail away across the wine dark sea,
O leave me to the tundra,
And look ye not behind.

The life of this abomination
Has been cruel and short,
I could have loved, but I was e’er despised.
I haunted my Creator, of his misery made sport,
Now hollow is the triumph I once prized.

O Frankenstein, I never asked
Your love or sympathy,
But just a chance to make a decent life;
I reasoned with you on the mountain
And you did agree
To make a woman to take as my wife.

But you broke your word,
How great is my ugliness?
You and your fellow men
Filled my good heart with bitterness.

Now we both pay the price,
And die here on the ice,
O Frankenstein, why did you hate me so?
Now Captain, do you know,
And do you understand?
Turn your fair ship around,
And take you homewardbound.

And leave me to the tundra,
And sail away across the wine dark sea,
O leave me to the tundra,
And look ye not behind.

Leave me to the tundra,
And sail away across the wine dark sea,
O leave me to the tundra,
And look ye not behind.

O leave me to the tundra,
And sail away across the wine dark sea,
O leave me to the tundra,
And look ye not behind.

O leave me to the tundra,
And sail away across the wine dark sea,
O leave me to the tundra,
And look ye not behind.

[For the full background to and context of the above song, click here.]

 


The Winter Of Our Discontent

 

Two unhappy men,
One shortly to be dead,
A third, not quite a man,
With so much blood upon his head.

A restless, frightened crew,
A ship that’s doomed to fail,
The discontent of a lonely winter’s tale.

Everywhere around is white,
And cold as cold can be,
Marooned and helpless,
Stuck fast in the frozen Arctic Sea,
A melancholy hour
And a heart of misery
Conspire to make this seem
Like the end of the world.

The traveller tries to speak,
But he can say no more,
His eyes close for the last time,
His friend is weeping silently,
Soon will come the Daemon,
But too late to repent,
For now has come the Winter
Of his final discontent.

Everywhere around is white,
And cold as cold can be,
Marooned and helpless,
Stuck fast in the frozen Arctic Sea,
A melancholy hour
And a heart of misery
Conspire to make this seem
Like the end of the world.

[For the full background to and context of the above song, click here.]

 


The Wrecker

 

Young lady, don’t you ever let the Wrecker in your bed,
Don’t let him talk his way into your heart;
Don’t be impressed by anything he’s ever done or said,
He’s wily as a fox and twice as smart.

He’s broken hearts like yours before too many times to count,
Too many girls have fallen for his lies,
He’ll kid you, twist you round his finger, but don’t ever doubt
He’s nothing but the Devil in disguise.

He’s the Wrecker,
A harbinger of misery,
He’ll never bring you anything but pain,
He’s the Wrecker,
He’ll break your heart so terribly
You’ll never want to fall in love again,
In love again.

He’ll tell you he’s a millionaire, controls a mighty empire,
He’ll promise you a home in Paradise,
But lady don’t you bare your throat, he’s nothing but a vampire,
His words are false, his heart’s as cold as ice.

He’ll take you body, take your money, take away your pride,
And leave you broken, like an empty shell,
With nothing left but pain and animosity inside,
You’ll curse his name, and pray he goes to Hell.

He’s the Wrecker,
A harbinger of misery,
He’ll never bring you anything but pain,
He’s the Wrecker,
He’ll break your heart so terribly
You’ll never want to fall in love again.

He’s the Wrecker,
A harbinger of misery,
He’ll never bring you anything but pain,
He’s the Wrecker,
He’ll break your heart so terribly
You’ll never want to fall in love again,
In love again.

[Written in Baronmetric Stanzas as for example the poem City Kid.]

 


Thea

 

Thea,
There’ll never be a-
Nother girl like you,
Another pearl like you.

Thea,
My precious Thea,
Why did you choose the boy from Birmingham,
Not me?

Thea,
I am sincere,
I love you so,
I have to let you know,
That we are,
And always will be,
If not in matrimony,
Then in harmony.

Oh Thea,
Life is austere,
Without your gentle touch,
I need your love so much,
But Thea,
The truth is clear,
You chose the boy from Birmingham,
Not me.

 


Theme From A Dream

 

Basically a chord progression. I have a recording of this somewhere.

 


Theme From An Empty Garret

 

Composed on acoustic guitar in June 1986. In an empty garret, of course! My own arrangement.

Click here to download Theme From An Empty Garret.

 


Throgmorton Street Blues

 

Ain’t got no money no more,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Now the stags are all at bay,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Cos the bear is on his way.

Left school last year
An’ got a job
In the City of London Town;
I bought an’ sold,
Commissions rolled,
And the market never looked down.

I bought me a Porsche
And a penthouse flat,
On a mortgage and HP,
But my yuppie lifestyle
Has plummeted with the Dow-Jones an’ the FOOTSIE.

Ain’t got no money no more,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Now the stags are all at bay,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Cos the bear is on his way.

This time last week
I was a whizz kid with a filofax,
Come Tuesday mornin’ an’ the boss
Has given me the axe.

I don’t know what I’m gonna do;
I’ll have to sell my car,
But first things first,
I’m to drown my sorrows in the bar.

Ain’t got no money no more,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Now the stags are all at bay,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Cos the bear is on his way.

O save me, save me please:
I should’ve seen Black Monday comin’,
Commissions in a squeeze,
And now the brokers are a-runnin’.

I used to have a portfolio
Of high performance shares,
But now I’ve sold my stereo
On account of them there bears.

I’ve pawned my brand new Rolex watch,
And I’ve cancelled my holiday;
The new Depression has arrived,
And it looks like it’s here to stay.

Ain’t got no money no more,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Now the stags are all at bay,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Ain’t got no money no more,
Cos the bear is on his way.

 


Time We Said Goodbye

 

I have no dreams anymore,
I don’t believe in me, I don’t believe in you;
I have no faith anymore,
This thing we had together, could never have come true.
Please don’t look so despondent, my young friend,
There is no sense in us living a lie,
And I am sure you’ll realise in the end,
That it’s time we said goodbye.

We both worked so very hard,
It’s such a pity that it cost us both so dear,
I’m feeling old, worn and tired,
Yet as I look back now, I see the falsehoods clear.
Please don’t look so despondent, my young friend,
There is no sense in us living a lie,
And I am sure you’ll realise in the end,
That it’s time we said goodbye.
Yes my friend, it’s time we said goodbye.

 


Tragedy & Hope

 

It started with a pirate
In 1694:
He held a king to ransom
For a loan to wage a war.

The bankers and their agents
Soon joined that company
And for two hundred and fifty years
Grew fat on usury.

They schemed at Jekyll Island
To instigate the Fed,
Their puppets in the Congress
And the world, their press misled.

The lie they sold was freedom;
The truth was slavery.
They said they were the Hope of the world;
They were its Tragedy.

Politicians fought them,
Men with high ideals,
But never could they thwart them,
Or their crooked deals.

Napoleon and Lincoln
And others came to grief.
The virtuous are libelled:
Honoured is the thief.

Power their obsession,
They nurtured booms and busts,
Engineered the Great Depression
With their money trusts.

From the town of Braunau
Arose a Leader to set us free,
He was the Hope of the world,
They called him its Tragedy.

Men shut their ears to reason,
And their eyes were struck blind,
They listened only to treason:
The folly of human kind!

The Leader was defeated,
They rang their hands with glee.
They slew the Hope of the world
And replaced him with Tragedy.

Decades the war is over,
But still their lie is sold.
How wonderful is love for man;
How terrible for gold.

The power of the money trusts
Again holds men in chains,
While politicians bow to Mammon
The evil will remain.

Now every great achievement
Of man brings forth a debt:
The agèd freeze, the children starve,
Our Lords show no regret.

Yet he is born, a Leader
Who still may set us free,
He is the Hope of the world,
They’ll call him its Tragedy.

When he rises like a Phoenix
From the ashes to set us free
He’ll be the hope of the world,
Don’t let us call him its Tragedy.

 


Waiting In The Wings For The Call That Never Comes

 

Waiting in the wings
For the call that never comes,
Brooding over things
That were never said or done.

Reflecting on the ones
Who got there after all,
And wondering why they did,
When you were doomed to fall.

Knocking on the door
You prayed would never close,
Shaken to the core,
But that’s just the way it goes.

For every one that triumphs
There’s more than just a few
Are fated to fail but why oh why
Is the loser always you?

Life is never fair,
It’s brutal, cruel and short,
They laugh at your despair,
And turn your suff’ring into sport.

No justice for the wicked,
And far too much for you,
The bitter taste of failure...

[We did complete this song but the rest of it including my co-writer’s arrangement appears to be lost. For the moment, at least.]

 


Walking The Giraffe

Click here to download Walking The Giraffe.

 


Walls Closing In

 

Next month I’ll be thirty-three,
Don’t know what’s to come of me,
Only thing of which I’m sure:
This rate won’t make thirty-four.
Every passing day brings dread,
Think I’m surely better dead,
Feel the pressure of
Walls closing in.

Every morning comb my hair,
In the mirror, vacant stare,
Can’t believe the sight I see,
Is that stranger really me?
Looks more haunted than Macbeth,
Face is like a mask of death.
No respite as
Walls come closing in.

Can’t stop dwelling on the past,
Wonder how it went so fast,
Good times are forever gone,
Storm clouds where the Sun once shone,
Every alleyway is blind,
All hope gone and peace of mind,
Heat is on as
Walls come closing in.

No way out as
Walls come closing in.

 


Water Song

 

Click here to download Water Song.

 


Watermelon Sherbet

 

Click here to download Watermelon Sherbet.

 


When Love Is Gone

 

Out in the world and alone again,
My tears are hidden by the falling rain,
I sit behind my frosted window pain,
And I think to myself what now,
When love is gone?

From out of my life I watch you walk away,
I wish you lots of love and come what may,
I understand why you couldn’t stay,
But what am I meant to do
Now love is gone?

Empty rooms in a house
That once was full of happiness,
The warmth and love have fled
Leaving only cold and gloominess,
Oh babe, I tried,
But I couldn’t keep you satisfied,
Now what am I meant to do
When love is gone?

[In 1985-6, I was experimenting with all sorts of weird timings, so it’s ironic that I wrote a song in 5/4 time purely by accident. I can’t find the original lyrics (which are to be presumed destroyed) so am not sure if there was another verse or one of the above is meant to be repeated; the only thing I do remember, clearly, is that the last lines should read “Tell me what am I meant to do...Now love is gone?”]

 


White Rose Of Halifax

 


Woman, Don’t Waste My Time

 

Woman, don’t waste my time
By making eyes at me,
You know the kind of man that I’m,
And you don’t like what you see.

I can tell by the way you’re fakin’
If I ask you for a date,
You’ll leave me standing in the rain,
And I won’t set eyes on you again.

Woman, don’t waste my time,
And say you’ll be my friend,
Though you speak the words so fine,
Your eyes still say pretend.

Woman, don’t waste my time,
Because I’m not naïve,
I’ve heard that sucker’s line,
It’s not one I believe.

I’ve met you in a hundred places,
Don’t say it’s not so,
A painted smile on both your faces;
Sincerity you’ll never know.

Woman, don’t waste my time,
Cos I know you find me bland,
You’ll want me till the morning light,
Like any one night stand.

You’ve got what you came here for,
Thank you for the ride,
We both took what we wanted
Until the morning light.
Now woman, don’t waste my time.

 


Would You?

 

When I look
In your eyes,
I can’t tell if you’re sincere?
Are you all that you appear?
I still have a nagging fear

That you’ll love
Me today,
Then tomorrow you will leave,
That you will this fool deceive,
That you’ll make his poor heart grieve,

If I said
That I cared,
Would you say you love me too?
Would you swear you would be true?
Would you stay with me
And lay with me
And never make me blue?

Would you give
Me your hand?
Would you tell me I’m the one?
Would you live with me,
And give to me
Until your life is done?

Tell me you
Will be mine
Till the seas have all run dry?
Till the birds no longer fly?
Till the stars fall from the sky?

Hold me tight?
Hold me close?
Say you’ll never let me go?
And you will be mine
Till the end of time
For you need my lovin’ so?

Click here for a scan of an arpeggiated arrangement.

Alan was far from an uncritical fan of my songs, but he particularly liked Would You? – the instrumental versions below were recorded by him in 1986.

Would You? (version 1).
Would You? (version 2).

 


Write The Music

 

Had it up to here with
Your lectures and your talks,
Had a gutful of your philosophising
You say you’re something special,
You think you’re number one,
The road is straight ahead: no compromising.

Another day wasted,
Another dollar down the drain,
Another trip to the bad side of the river.
You never stop to reason,
It’s always push, push, push,
You’re playin’ a game you know you can’t win,
Now look at the state you’ve got me in.

But no more! From now on we do it my way,
We’re goin’ forward, we’re gonna hit the heights.
So get your act together,
We’ve many storms to weather,
Don’t look back now, not ever:
Write the music.

There’s so much competition,
Don’t treat it with derision,
Just leave me the decisions,
And write the music.

You don’t know what’s goin’ on, what’s cookin’,
You don’t see them laugh behind your back,
Without me you’d never get a look in,
Just trust me and we’ll go from red to black.

There’s really nothing more that I can tell you,
Except to hold your tongue and button down,
You know by now I have no truths to sell you,
But you’re not gonna treat me like a clown.

Cos I’ll be watchin’ you,
To make sure we pull through.
And all you’ve gotta do
Is write the music.

We’ve still a way to go,
When we get there you’ll know,
Until then, don’t you slow:
Write the music.

Accept it with good grace,
That this will be your place,
So shut your stupid face,
And write the music.

 


Yesterday’s Man

 

I realised the punters were fickle,
They wouldn’t take any old junk,
But I still thought they’d make me a mickle:
I wasn’t some overnight punk.
The ephemeral dancers,
They came and they went,
The hopeless romancers
Were here and then spent.
For the crowds slowed right down to a trickle,
Then came Father Time with his sickle,
And the star became an also-ran,
Now Yesterday’s Man
Is a flash in the pan.

Remember me, Yesterday’s Man,
Remember me, flash in the pan,
Who owned up to a sheep
Yet was hanged for a lamb,
Remember me – Yesterday’s Man.

I’d seen more than my fair share of losin’,
Disillusion and heartache I knew,
And I’d seen better men take t’boozin’,
And I’d seen lesser men shine on through.
There was no rhyme nor reason
Some found no success,
No explainin’ or easin’
Their bad luck, I guess,
And others who thought they were cruisin’
Were only their egos bemusin’,
They never knew where they were
Till the shit hit the fan,
And Yesterday’s Man
Became a flash in the pan.

Remember me, Yesterday’s Man,
Remember me, flash in the pan,
Who owned up to a sheep
Yet was hanged for a lamb,
Remember me – Yesterday’s Man.

Still I always thought sooner or later
The day would come when I’d arrive,
They said life is like an elevator,
You go down then up in overdrive,
But the day never came,
Though the years rolled on by,
I was out of the game
Always wondering why.
Of the two evils, I chose the greater,
I should’ve left to become a spectator,
For the winners get out while they can
Cos Yesterday’s Man
Is a flash in the pan.

Remember me, Yesterday’s Man,
Remember me, flash in the pan,
Who owned up to a sheep
Yet was hanged for a lamb,
Remember me – Yesterday’s Man.

Remember me, Yesterday’s Man,
Remember me, flash in the pan,
No one noticed I’d gone,
Even less gave a damn.
Remember me...Yesterday’s Man.

[Yesterday’s Man was inspired by a poem called no chance by es (presumably Eric Smith) in Hooligan Heart, issue 1, circa 1984. I wrote it c1985; nearly a quarter of a century on, it is more relevant to me than ever. Sigh.]

 


Yours For The Asking

 

You don’t have to make me blue,
You don’t even have to say: I love you.
You don’t have to swear you’ll always be true...
I’m yours for the asking.

You don’t have to make me cry,
You don’t have to prove yourself over and over,
You don’t have to tell me no sweet sounding lies...
I’m yours for the asking.

Whatever, whenever, however you want me,
Any time or place will be just fine.
No hesitating,
No tiresome waiting,
Just say that you want me,
You’ve got me hooked, hooked on your line.

You don’t have to give excuses,
You don’t even have to make heated denials,
I know I have my uses,
And I’m glad that it’s so.

You don’t have to hide the others,
You don’t have to ask my humble forgiveness,
Cos my love for you is like a sickness.
And I’m yours for the asking.

Whatever, whenever, however you want me,
Any time or place will be just fine.
No hesitating,
No tiresome waiting,
Just say that you want me,
You’ve got me hooked, hooked on your line.

You don’t have to give excuses,
You don’t even have to make heated denials,
I know I have my uses,
And I’m glad that it’s so.

You don’t have to hide the others,
You don’t have to ask my humble forgiveness,
Cos my love for you is like a sickness.
And I’m yours for the asking.
Yes my love for you is like a sickness.
And I’m yours for the asking.

[Although I wrote this three or four years before The Fabulous Baker Boys was released I envisaged someone like Michelle Pfeiffer singing it cabaret style.]

 


(You’ve Got A) Strange Mentality

 

In all my life I’ve never met
A mattoid such as you,
I’ll never understand
The crazy things you do.

You say you want to rob the rich
So you can feed the poor,
Next thing you turn the mendicant
In horror from your door.

I don’t know where you’re at,
But I can still see that
You’ve got a strange mentality.

You say you want a just world
Where all people can be free,
You write reams about Tories
But don’t mention usury.

You campaign against missiles,
Say we cannot live in fear,
But when the IRA throw bombs,
You pretend not to hear.

You’ve either lost your mind,
Or propaganda’s made you blind:
You’ve got a strange mentality.

Is it a poison or a madness that’s afflicting you?
Is it something in the blood or in the air?
Because it seems to me some strange drug you’re addicted to
Has eaten up your reason
And blown your brain,
It’s not the silly season:
You’ve gone insane.

You say you’re horrified by war,
We all must work for peace,
Social injustice you deplore,
Conflict and strife must cease,

Next thing you mount a boycott
Against your Southern kin;
I’ve never met a man
Who so despised his own white skin.

I wish you’d act your age
Instead of scream with rage;
You’ve got a strange mentality.

I don’t know where you’re at,
But I can still see that
You’ve got a strange mentality.

You’ve either lost your mind,
Or propaganda’s made you blind:
You’ve got a strange mentality.

I wish you’d act your age
Instead of scream with rage;
You’ve got a strange mentality.


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